Taming of the Shrew-Mother

Right this second, I am listening to my 14-year-old daughter on the phone. With. A. Boy.

She's calm, cool, collected. She's sweet, yet sincere. She didn't break out in hives and jump up and down, giddy with terrified excitement.

She talked to this boy for more than 5 minutes...maybe even 10 whole minutes! From whom did she learn this talking-to-a-boy skill? Certainly not me. I can't think of things to say for longer than a minute or two. Men shrink away from conversations with me. I'm elephant-headed, spiritual and religious, and a Mom. Most men are liberal, naturalist/spiritualist, hoochy-boys. What would we say to one another?

Of course, before the boy called my daughter, she was trying to figure out what she would say to him when he did call her back. They've been talking for a couple of weeks now. And they have a movie-thing planned for a near-future Friday.

Should I just let this Lucentio-boy wisk away my Bianca-daughter? How do I stand idly by? Should I get her to a nunnery? Should I allow this movie-going? Should I drive her and her friend? Should I let another Mother drive them and show up at the same theater and sit behind them?

What do I do if she sees this boy for a long time? And what will I do when it doesn't work out? Forget about that baby manual that comes out at birth. Where, oh where, is the adolescent enchiridion, the minor manual, or even a juvenile journal? Should I lock her in the hay mow? Perhaps, I should, at least until my Petruchio shows up!

I pulled out a Plum

Can you believe it? I have yet to read Fearless 14! (from Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series)

I own 14. I have it. It's still in its shipping package. I'm reading all the others before I read 14. I own 1-7 and got 8 out of the library. I finished 8 today. I do not own 9 or 10 or 11. I've come all this way. I can't skip ahead to 12. What was I thinking? Why was I not prepared?

So, in order to get my Plum fix this evening, I've decided to cast the movie. Yes, I've done this before, but it's always fun, especially when Sharon argues about the Ranger character! Here we go...

Stephanie: If not me, then Lauren Graham - Since she's done with Gilmore Girls, I'm sure she has the time. She can do funny, sad, serious, and we know that she can handle the love triangle! Plus, she's already made out with Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. Lucky girl!

Joe: Jeffrey Dean Morgan - He can be tough and sweet. I can see him riding a Ducati and calling me Cupcake. I mean calling Stephanie Cupcake.

Ranger: Vin Diesel - Ranger will always be Vin Diesel to me. Strong, silent, kick-ass hunk of testosterone and muscle, and yet can be serious as well.

Tank: The Rock - I can see Dwayne Johnson backing up Vin Diesel and being all sweet with Lula. Lula needs a big, sensitive man, and The Rock can fill those shoes. (As reply to Sharon's comment, Michael Clarke Duncan would definitely make a great Tank, but I just cannot move Vin out of the Ranger role for Dwayne. However, I would watch Sharon's movie if made that way. hehe)

Diesel: Paul Walker or Gerard Butler - Paul has the goofiness, but Gerard could play the mysterious aspect. Not enough of Diesel in the off-number books to decide between the two. (Hmm...Paul's been in the movies with Vin, and Gerard has been in a flick with Jeffrey Dean Morgan.)

Lula: Sherri Shepherd - Lovable, energetic, excitement. Can't you see her moseying on up to The Rock?

Connie: Jennifer Coolidge - She could put Vinnie in his place.

Grandma Mazur: Ann Morgan Guilbert - I've never pictured anyone other than The Nanny's Grandma Yetta.

Mr. Plum: James Gandolfini - I can just see him sitting at the table, behind the paper, mumbling expletives at Grandma Mazur.

Mrs. Plum: Blythe Danner - The look. She can give the look. And she'll be standing on the porch waiting for Stephanie.

Valerie: Jennie Garth - The perfect daughter, who is kind of bumbling, but could also ram a van through a house to save her sister.

Kloughn: Kevin James - Who else could play the Pillsbury Doughboy? We know he can pull it off...Hitch.

Vinnie: Steve Buscemi or Joe Pantoliano - Sometimes, I picture one, and at other times, I picture the other. What was I thinking??? Now that I am in Book 9, Vinnie must be Stanley Tucci. I love him. He can play a weenie, but a lovable one. And he would be capable of bounty hunter stuff.

Joyce: Debi Mazar - She can do mean (Beethoven movies). She could pull off those leather outfits.

Mooner: Jon Heder - Is there anyone else?

Dougie: Matthew Lillard - Think Shaggy.

Dickie Orr: Ben Affleck - Wannabe corporate climber

Sally Sweet: Steve Valentine - He's the closest actor to a guy I went to college with that I picture in this role.

Mrs. Morelli: Lorraine Bracco - Strong, no-nonsense matriarch

Grandma Bella: Olympia Dukakis - She could put the eye on anyone, but turn around and wink at Joe.

Eddie Gazarra: George Eads - Actually, he's a runner-up for Joe, and so I put him here so that he'd still be in the movie, because he is hot.

Carl Costanza: Mark Wahlberg - He is just hot, not that Carl is described that way. Again...he needs to be in my movie.

Mary Lou: Melissa McCarthy - Would this be hilarious...teaming Sookie and Lorelai back up?

Movies, Movies, Movies

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