Smile!

If it's not one thing, it's another. Now, when I say this, I'm not wishing for something else to add to my already full plate. I'm just trying to say that there is always something on the plate.

Add to plate: I have TMJ.

I had a regularly-scheduled cleaning today, but I suspected that I had it. Over the last two weeks, my face has felt numb and tingling from my ear down to my jaw. After I relax or a little nap, the tingling went away. Since it's not worse in the morning, I'm guessing that this is stress-induced jaw-clenching and muscular in nature, and not that I am grinding my teeth when I sleep.

The dentist found one chipped tooth and some other smooth edges that would denote some teeth grinding. He felt my face while I moved my jaw around, and my jaw muscle was trembling.

Too bad I cannot afford any more dental work this year. (crap insurance!) So, I have to try to fix this on my own until next year.

Anyway, the dentist said that stress can cause it, as well as physical stress. So, if my back is tight and if my neck hurts, it could definitely lead to the TMJ in my jaw. The crapola work environment just keeps getting worse and worse!

Dreaming about work? or at work?

I had a dream. It seemed to last all night long. I kept thinking to myself. This is a dream...I wish it would change gears and get better. Anyway, Doug in Facilities took away my nice, big, 3-drawer file cabinet and replaced it with this really beat-up 2-drawer thing that barely opened up for about 10 files to fit. I guess this goes along with my last posting. I just don't feel like the company is giving me what I need to succeed. I kept trying to get them to give me back the nice cabinet. I went looking for it. I asked others to help me look for it, but they left me hanging.

And then it was storming - raining, blowing, snowing - at work, in the building. Not so much symbolic, as the actual temperature in the actual building. (Right now, I'm wearing a jacket and am covered up with a blanket.) Why they think shivering is conducive to productivity is beyond me?

It was so nice to work in a nice temperature on Monday from home. My shoulders weren't all hunched up at the end of the day. Yesterday, I went out at lunch, mainly because others were driving me insane with their constant chatter. However, it gave me a chance to warm up. How nice, not to be frozen to the core! Anyway, I'll have to find something to do during my lunch hours. I cannot go out to eat every day, because my body cannot handle that. I cannot go out shopping every day, because my wallet cannot handle that. Too bad there's no hot dude I can meet on my lunch hour! Now, that would make me dream AT work, instead of dreaming ABOUT work. That would be way better!

Am I really cut out for sales?

I am so ready to cry.

I work my booty off. I am busy. I am nice to my customers. I get things done. Nothing comes from it. Not even mentioning co-workers who stand around and chat all freaking day long. Not just comments here and there. They chatter all day long. And then they ring the freaking bell...order in!

I keep explaining what I need so that I can be successful. It's just not happening. I am being set up for failure. Why?

Spa Day!

I just went to the Spa on Friday, June 13! I took Hannah. We each had an aromatherapy massage, pedicure, manicure, and then a facial. It was a long day, but wonderful.

However, maybe I'm feeling down, because it's a rare event. I need to take the time to go more often. The facial was the best!

It was quite a costly endeavor. However, it was our "vacation"! And I thought that the environment would be better at work when I returned that Monday. However, it's still freezing! The wind has diminished, because there are fewer people using the wind tunnel behind me. The temperature is almost unbearable. I've brought in a blanket that keeps me warmer. The stress from the cold and the constant noise from the wind is totally unhealthy. It's too bad. I like the location. I just wish that someone in facilities would care.

Air Exchangers?

Anyone know anything about air exchangers between connecting buildings?

I have a 20 mph (estimated, maybe exaggerated, but definitely annoying) wind blowing on the back of me all day long.

My skin is drier than it's been since I had a gall bladder.

I cannot breathe through my nose.

My eyes are dry.

My ears are plugged from the constant noise. (It sounds like a cold, winter wind blowing in the middle of a dark night.)

My hands get so cold that I can barely type.

I am in sensory overload. Sensory overload causes lack of focus. What was I talking about? Oh...

I was really looking forward to being so, so, so productive in my new cube/pod space. I don't know why it's so hard to get someone to take this seriously. You'd think that creating a non-offensive workspace would be a reasonable request.

I get the standard, pat answer, "We've checked, and everything is fine. "

When did they check? I haven't seen anyone checking anything around here during the work day.

Oh, how I long for the open, fresh air of Oklahoma! (Maria showed me a blog (http://thepioneerwoman.com/confessions/) with Oklahoman Rancher, who is looking for a new wife. hehehe)

An ostrich with a computer, finding a penny in the bathtub

I am so busy and so behind with anything and everything that I just want to crawl in bed and cover my head. Why can't I be an ostrich?

I'd like to just delete all my work emails and start from scratch. Do you think that I could get away with it? Maybe some tech guy could make my computer crash so that I could legitimately use that excuse.

I found a penny in a parking lot this morning, and I picked it up. When, oh when, will it kick into gear and make things happen? I had it in my shoe, but I just put it on my phone. C'mon phone, ring with a customer who wants to spend $85,000-$200,000!

I cannot even say, "Calgon, take me away" because that would conjure about the chore of how I need to clean the tub!

See, how random my thoughts are. I cannot focus as there are too many things racing through my mind.

Snow Days

I'm awake early waiting to hear if schools will be closed today. So far just Ida in Monroe County. This morning, I'm thinking...hoping...that the roads are okay. I need to get to work, as you know it's the busy time of year. I have 2 contracts in and 8 contracts out. Those 10 won't even get me close to my goal, but I have to keep trying. I also need to get to the post office to mail a case verification package to Friend of Court. Such grown-up things!

(Already another school closed in Monroe.)

I read/heard somewhere that adults do not call themselves grown-ups. How did I get to this grown-up place? I must not be an adult yet as I do not feel like one of them. I look at people just 10 years older than I am, and they seem so old! (Shhh! Do not tell them I said that!) Am I going to act like them before I know it?

Remember when...we wished for a snow day. I remember that jubilant feeling of nothingness. When my Mom came in and wiggled my foot, and did not say, "time to get up," but said, "snow day - no school," I remember that feeling of happiness, relief, no anxiety for things that needed to get done. It was complete dispensation from your day, your responsibilities. A day off without guilt or regret. It was a day of sleeping in, hot chocolate, reading by the picture window, playing in the snow with your snowsuit, warming up by the oven, playing barbies and cards, just doing whatever you pleased.

Oh...to have a day without responsibility for everything, for the snow to wash away the stressy-sky and to cover the guilty-ground and to make it all pretty and bright and happy without a care in the world. That's a snow day!

Wacky "If You Could" questions:

Wacky "If You Could" questions:

1) If you could time-travel, and go back to any particular time/place in history, what would it be? I'd like to keep hopping back each generation and check out my family.

2) If you could go back and relive any time in your life, what would it be? High school...I was so, so stupid. I would have enjoyed more all the fun things that I did, and I wouldn't have worried so much about boys and what others thought.

3) If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be? I would be more muscular...stronger!

4) If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would it be? I would have my own foundation and give money away! If I had to work, then I would be an architect or a writer.

5) If you could only read one book over and over again in your life, what one book would that be? Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

6) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? My hometown! There's nowhere else to live. But...I would get out of town and back into the country.

7) If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your days, what outfit would that be? Jeans, white v-neck tee, white cotton socks, and cute sneakers.

8) If you could have dinner with any one person (dead or alive) -- anyone -- who would it be? Pope John Paul II

9) If you could ask for any talent or skill and instantly receive it, what talent would that be? I could read minds (so that I knew what wonderful thoughts that my non-verbal daughter is thinking!)

10) If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? A knight in shining armor would be in my life.

11) If you could name your biggest regret, what would that be? Procrastination...can that be a regret?

12) If you could have exactly one million dollars right now in your hands, what would you do with it? $400K for a home in the country. A new car for me, therapy for Sophie, and a Jonas Brothers concert for Hannah! I would save, invest, donate, and share the rest.

13) If you could fix one major world problem on this Earth, what would you fix? Autism