Orange Crush

Ways To Let Go Of An Emotional Love Affair

What is an emotional love affair? An innocent crush. An inappropriate dependence. A dysfunctional replacement. Could be one or all.

(Stuff in ALL CAPS was taken from the link above.)

1.) SCHEDULE YOUR OBSESSING: hahaha! This suggestion is such an oxymoron. Have the author of the original article and the blogger-commentator ever been obsessed? Obviously not. Obsession...you cannot think of anything else. You think/feel it. It encompasses you. How can you turn it off? Even temporarily. The real thing you have to do is put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it hard every time you think of obsession.

2.) REPLACE YOUR CRUSH WITH SOMETHING: Now, distraction is a great route to take. However, what happens when you replace one obsession with an even worse one? What should I do? I've watched every Bones episode. I can read only so much before my eyes fall out. And of course, there's always exercise, but does exercise stop me from thinking about said-obsession? Or does it just give me more time to free my mind from reality and replace with fantasies about what might be nicer?

3.) ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE LONELY: Yes, I'm lonely, and that's why I obsess. Do I really need to be reminded about how lonely I really am when I am seeking help about being so lonely that I have to have an obsession? You are an obsession, you're my obsession. Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me? (Animotion) One is the loneliest number that they'll ever do. (Three Dog Night) I think it's the loneliest number that I'll ever be. And, I'll never be anything but that. Just one. That's acceptance.

4.) IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD: I like this one! ...The adrenaline rush of love, yes, it's basic. It's brain synapsis gone wild. It's your brain's own personal party. It's...My fantasy has turned to madness. All my goodness has turned to badness. (Animotion) When it's turned to badness, I guess it's time for the rubber band snap. But what's really wrong with a fantasy when life is so humdrum. So laundry and vacuum and dishes. Does the fantasy cause you to stop living? Or is it the fantasy that helps you cope with the existing?

5.) WRITE IT OUT: If you're too ashamed to admit to anyone you've lost it so hardcore for someone so utterly uninterested, try a nice, long journal session. Writing out one's emotions has been scientifically proven to help speed up the healing process... Now, this one I like. This is a time-honored way of creatively expressing one's loserness. Put it all out there...Loser it up. Maybe you'll inspire others? Maybe others will say...look at this crazy chick, because I'm not that gone with the wind.

Here's my suggestion for coping with a crush: Get a dollar bill. Walk to a vending machine. Purchase your own crush. I prefer grape, but purple is depressing, and this posting has been bleak enough. So, since orange is a proven happy color, I'll choose an Orange Crush.

I talk good

"I think like a genius, I write like a distinguished author, and I speak like a child."
~ Vladimir Nabokov

I'm a great thinker, a good writer, and a bad talker. I think faster than I can talk about certain things, ideas about which I'm passionate. I can think and then re-think it and modify what I think until it's right to me on words written. I can edit what I write, but how can I change what I blurt? I can flirt on my feet. Flirting is nothing of substance. If someone asks me a serious question though, I like to think about my answer before speaking. Maybe because as the youngest of 4 kids, I had the opportunity to think before I had a chance to speak out. I wonder if Vladimir is the youngest in his family?

Birth-Month Traits

Oh man! There are way to many descriptors for me. I must be a complicated and complex, but not convex, individual!

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. - I come up with crazy things like the automatic anti-bacterial sprayer on the bathroom door handle, and then sometime later, I hear that someone has really designed it and made it happen! If I think it, it will happen.

Difficult to fathom. - Am I difficult to fathom? I am real, but not 6 feet tall. Or are my ideas difficult to fathom? They must not be difficult since someone actually came up with bathroom door handle thingy? However, sometimes, others don't know what in the world I'm talking about?

Thinks forward. - I'm always thinking about what could be. How do I make all that happen though?

Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. - I have been known to cut a rug outside the box under a bare bulb swinging from the middle of the ceiling.

Fine and strong clairvoyance. - Sometimes, I get the feeling that I know what someone else is thinking, like why is that Mary-person here?

Can become good doctors. - I can be calm when others are in an emergency situation. However, I cannot even touch raw meat, and so I think that surgeon is not an option for me.

Dynamic in personality. - I am dynamic when pretending to be someone else.

Secretive. - Totally. No one knows me.

Inquisitive. - I like to know why, sometimes to the chagrin and/or pain of others.

Knows how to dig secrets. - Two words...Secret Squirrel.

Always thinking. I am a thinker on the Thinker/Director/Relator/Socializer quad. Many have asked me to stop thinking some times. Some have asked me to stop thinking many times.

Less talkative but amiable. - I'm more of a writer than a talker, probably because I can think faster than I write, but talking sometimes happens faster than thinking.

Brave and generous. - I tend to be brave on behalf of others, and let others generously walk all over me.

Patient. - Is this done yet? Are we there yet? Is it time to go yet?

Stubborn and hard-hearted. Stubborn? Am not! Am not! Am not! If my heart is hard, it's because it's been broken.

If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. - There is always hope!

Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. - True. Very few people have ever seen me truly angry. It was the summer of 1984. I went to Cedar Point with my friend Jane and her co-workers from McDonald's. It was a dark and dreary moment, sandwiched between hundreds of cars in the parking lot. Bill Willis said something so mean to Jane. I retaliated. I cannot even remember what I said. It was as if I was watching me say what I said to him. I was shaking. Do not mess with my friends and family.

Loves to be alone. - True. Rarely happens, and so it's weird when it does now, but I can amuse myself. (Get your mind out of gutter!)

Thinks differently from others. - I try. Like, other bi-peds are like, so totally un-koolio.

Sharp-minded. - uh...

Motivates oneself. - I can motivate myself, but I can also throw myself into the pit of despair.

Does not appreciate praises. - I would prefer not to be praised. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel cynical, because I think that if someone praises me that he wants something from me.

High-spirited. - Spirits...maybe, but I have never inhaled!

Well-built and tough. - Good, hardy, German-stock!

Deep love and emotions. - Yes. Love is higher than a mountain; love is thicker than water. And I'll give it all to you. My love, my endless love. Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do...A total eclipse of the heart. All by myself. Don't wanna be...all by myself anymore.

Romantic. - I used to be when I had someone with whom I could be romantic. It's difficult to send those romantic vibes to cars and trucks passing me on the freeway.

Uncertain in relationships. - Sure.

Homely. - 1: suggestive or characteristic of a home - not really! 2: being something familiar with which one is at home - sure. 3: unaffectedly natural - sure. 4: plain or unattractive in appearance - NO!

Hardworking. - I never stop working. Always something to do. I follow my little tornado around. Sometimes, I feel like the vacuum is an extension of my arm.

High abilities. - I am able.

Trustworthy. - Yes.

Honest and keeps secrets. - Honest - painfully so. I can keep a TRUE secret.

Not able to control emotions. - When I am emotionally full, I share things with my Mother or my Sister or maybe someone else. I can usually control emotions unless someone has pushed me over the freaking edge, and then watch out!

Unpredictable. - I used to have every moment planned, but spontaneous and unpredictable are sometimes more fun.

Wacky "If You Could" questions:

Wacky "If You Could" questions:

1) If you could time-travel, and go back to any particular time/place in history, what would it be? I'd like to keep hopping back each generation and check out my family.

2) If you could go back and relive any time in your life, what would it be? High school...I was so, so stupid. I would have enjoyed more all the fun things that I did, and I wouldn't have worried so much about boys and what others thought.

3) If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be? I would be more muscular...stronger!

4) If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would it be? I would have my own foundation and give money away! If I had to work, then I would be an architect or a writer.

5) If you could only read one book over and over again in your life, what one book would that be? Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice

6) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? My hometown! There's nowhere else to live. But...I would get out of town and back into the country.

7) If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your days, what outfit would that be? Jeans, white v-neck tee, white cotton socks, and cute sneakers.

8) If you could have dinner with any one person (dead or alive) -- anyone -- who would it be? Pope John Paul II

9) If you could ask for any talent or skill and instantly receive it, what talent would that be? I could read minds (so that I knew what wonderful thoughts that my non-verbal daughter is thinking!)

10) If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? A knight in shining armor would be in my life.

11) If you could name your biggest regret, what would that be? Procrastination...can that be a regret?

12) If you could have exactly one million dollars right now in your hands, what would you do with it? $400K for a home in the country. A new car for me, therapy for Sophie, and a Jonas Brothers concert for Hannah! I would save, invest, donate, and share the rest.

13) If you could fix one major world problem on this Earth, what would you fix? Autism