Autism: Lancet Rant

Friend: I am not taking one side or another, but do you know anything about the Lancet?
Mary: sure...I know all about it.
Friend: what do you know about it
Mary: world's leading general medical journal
Friend: well there are lots of different ones, but when I was in Neurology it was really respected. I just want to make sure you know it is not just a tabloid. It goes back and rechecks research and is one of the few that will say "Hey we made a mistake with analyzing the research" I cant imagine sometimes your life Mary, but try to keep an open mind. I had physicians - some of which I really respected - others that I mocked - that swore by the research it reports.
Friend: Different specialties of the Lancet http://www.thelancet.com/
Mary: I know all about the Lancet.
Mary: so in another 10 years, when they come back and say someone else paid for the research to discredit Wakefield. what then?
Mary: research is big business
Mary: autism is now becoming big business
Mary: it's not business
Mary: it's my life
Friend: I am sorry Mary. I just wanted to try to give you information. That's all. I didn't mean to get you upset.
Friend: I understand your life.
Mary: You didn't upset me. I already posted it on my facebook earlier today.
Mary: that autism is becoming chic (HBO movie) and the business of controversy (doctors blaming parents and parents blaming doctors) angers me
Mary: all the research does is try to place blame...
Mary: and none of that helps my Sophie
Friend: Oh, I agree. why do drs. blame parents... what possibly?
Mary: for the most part...doctors have god complexes or at the very least huge egos
Mary: and the nice ones? they don't want to hurt people...that's not why they became doctors.
Friend: Of course
Mary: so, they can't conceive that the vaccines are harmful
Friend: They are trained to trust
Mary: Have you gotten a shot lately? Have you read ALL that could go wrong? So, why can't they believe that something perhaps they don't know about could also go wrong?
Friend: When they are in med school, they don't know the chaos of the research. They evolve when they go through their residencies and internships and fellowships. And the drug companies are the biggest sinners. Someday, you'll know my path.
Friend: I got my yrly flu and the HINI.
Friend: but believe, me I am counting on a higher power to change things. The FDA is the biggest sinner on the planet
Mary: I got the Hep shots before going to Punta Cana...I could not let my Mom read all that could go wrong. I could feel that stuff going through me.
Friend: Well, you survived. I am proud of you! The contaminants have exited by now and you wouldn't have that time with your sister....
Friend I'll let you go, as always, I am praying for you and your beautiful family!
Mary: I know! Same goes for you!

Monday de-Motivation

How do I get motivated?

For a while there, my alarm would ring, and I would jump out of bed, put the dog out and in, and then walk for 30 minutes on the treadmill, do some chores, and then get the girls and me ready for our days. Now, I can barely get out of bed. I have both my regular alarm and my phone alarm set each weekday morning. I never used to sleep in on the weekends. And yet, I make it a point to go to Mass on Saturday evenings, just so I can sleep in another day. (I guess getting to Mass is a good thing though.)

I think that I'm just worn out. 43 years and worn out. Really? Uncle Harold is 95, and his body is just now wearing out.

Maybe I need to stop and see him more often. He does provide great insight into a vast number of things. Knowing that I will more than likely not live that long...maybe that should motivate me to do something of worth? something of value?

But then...who would wash the dishes and the laundry and sweep and vacuum and water the plants and feed the dog and the people? I do a lot. Not that I need constant validation, but no one in my current household appreciates anything that I do. It's just expected from both my teen and my autistic. I am there to serve them.