Well, I imagine that poor Harold is buried by now. He was a son, husband, father, and grandfather, at the young age of 41. I'm tired of seeing young men, lying in a box. It's too sad to see his wife, hugging, crying, begging for emotional comfort. I offered what I could: a hug and my daughter as a babysitter, if she needs. It's so not enough. And that's why I'll pray for her...for the strength she needs to bear it and the strength that she needs to persevere and the strength she needs to feel truly alive again.
Death, as much as I feel for the people closest to those lost, it makes me think of my own life and those in it. Time is slipping faster and faster by. There is so much to do, to be, to live. Should I prioritize? Should I grasp at all of it...the gusto? Should I just appreciate the ebb and flow of my everyday existence? Seek the joy in the simple? Enjoy what people come my way?
Too sad was the despair and ending last night. I needed to teeter-totter it. So, I looked for hope and beginning and found a brand new baby. He smiled, cooed, and made all sorts of baby noises...some not so pleasant. I offered what I could to him and accepted from his expressive eyes the simple, true love of a baby.
I guess how we start out life is how we continue through it. There's struggle in life, in every relationship-no matter how simple or complex, but the love we share during makes it all delightful. I am happy.
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prayer. Show all posts
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Saturday, May 24, 2008
Memorial Day (Weekend)
At work yesterday, a few people asked me what my big plans for the weekend are.
Well, I do realize that for most people Memorial Day is day off work, and I am not complaining about that! Most folks plan to go up north or to the lake or to have big barbecue in their own backyard. As well they should! We all work hard enough during the week and deserve a mini-holiday.
However, some seemed surprised when I said my only real plan is what I plan every year at this time...to go to the cemetery. This morning, I'll take my daughters and pick up my Mother. She's bought a few plants, and we'll place them on the graves of people we remember. This is in preparation for the actual day. Today, we'll visit each family member, and it'll be light-hearted. We'll be doing something, and Hannah will be asking questions, trying to remember where some of the older relatives are.
On Monday, I'll go by the cemetery again. But then, I will go to my Dad's grave, and place my hand on my heart and I will remember and pray.
We remember how you loved us to Your death,
And still we celebrate for You are with us here.
And we believe that we will see You when you come in Your glory, Lord.
We remember, we celebrate, we believe!
Well, I do realize that for most people Memorial Day is day off work, and I am not complaining about that! Most folks plan to go up north or to the lake or to have big barbecue in their own backyard. As well they should! We all work hard enough during the week and deserve a mini-holiday.
However, some seemed surprised when I said my only real plan is what I plan every year at this time...to go to the cemetery. This morning, I'll take my daughters and pick up my Mother. She's bought a few plants, and we'll place them on the graves of people we remember. This is in preparation for the actual day. Today, we'll visit each family member, and it'll be light-hearted. We'll be doing something, and Hannah will be asking questions, trying to remember where some of the older relatives are.
On Monday, I'll go by the cemetery again. But then, I will go to my Dad's grave, and place my hand on my heart and I will remember and pray.
We remember how you loved us to Your death,
And still we celebrate for You are with us here.
And we believe that we will see You when you come in Your glory, Lord.
We remember, we celebrate, we believe!
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Simple Words = Prayer
My friend Lynne sent me these words in an email message. I found them moving enough to post here:
~~~
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
~~~
Sometimes, simple words can create a prayer.
~~~
To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did.
When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.
The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you.
~~~
Sometimes, simple words can create a prayer.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Alternate Universe...who is that girl who looks like Sophie?
Have you heard my troubles in trying to get Sophie to have better hygiene habits? It's been a long time of tricking and kicking and screaming into the shower, running from the bathroom when the toothbrush comes out, and absolutely refusing to get a haircut. (People with autism has extreme sensory issues. For example, I think that her hair actually hurts her scalp at times.)
Tonight, she walked into the bathroom, knowing that that she would take a shower. She walked in. She walked. I didn't have to drag her. It wasn't a fight. She walked in and lifted up her arms to get her shirt off. She still complained and held her hands to her ears, but those feet were playing, kicking at the water. No crying.
I trimmed her bangs. The last time the hairdresser cut her hair, she cried, big alligator, sad tears. When I got the scissors out, she politely refused, but then I asked again. I didn't do a great job. The last time I did it, I did better, but at least she can see without tilting her head back. The hairdresser can fix it at the end of the month. She just stood there and looked at me under those long bangs. No crying.
And then, when I said, "Let's brush teeth." She got out of bed and walked right into the bathroom. She patiently waited for me to get the toothbrush. I brushed for her for a minute, and then I asked her to do it. She tried and did a great job for her. She used to make such faces when I tried to bruch her teeth. She would clench her mouth shut, and yes even cry. Tonight, no crying.
(Okay, she ran from the nail clippers. Maybe I was pushing it? 3 out of 4 is great!) I just keep thinking about how difficult she made those things before. If she made them difficult, they must have been so very difficult for her. They must have felt so weird or actually hurt her. Maybe my prayers are being answered. I just can't stand to see her hurting, to see her crying. Tonight, it was better for her. No crying.
I think I am going to cry. Yep, I am. Crying.
Tonight, she walked into the bathroom, knowing that that she would take a shower. She walked in. She walked. I didn't have to drag her. It wasn't a fight. She walked in and lifted up her arms to get her shirt off. She still complained and held her hands to her ears, but those feet were playing, kicking at the water. No crying.
I trimmed her bangs. The last time the hairdresser cut her hair, she cried, big alligator, sad tears. When I got the scissors out, she politely refused, but then I asked again. I didn't do a great job. The last time I did it, I did better, but at least she can see without tilting her head back. The hairdresser can fix it at the end of the month. She just stood there and looked at me under those long bangs. No crying.
And then, when I said, "Let's brush teeth." She got out of bed and walked right into the bathroom. She patiently waited for me to get the toothbrush. I brushed for her for a minute, and then I asked her to do it. She tried and did a great job for her. She used to make such faces when I tried to bruch her teeth. She would clench her mouth shut, and yes even cry. Tonight, no crying.
(Okay, she ran from the nail clippers. Maybe I was pushing it? 3 out of 4 is great!) I just keep thinking about how difficult she made those things before. If she made them difficult, they must have been so very difficult for her. They must have felt so weird or actually hurt her. Maybe my prayers are being answered. I just can't stand to see her hurting, to see her crying. Tonight, it was better for her. No crying.
I think I am going to cry. Yep, I am. Crying.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Mary...Hail Mary
Prayers are there when I feel powerless, yet I need to do something.
When I hear tragic news, the first thing I say is Hail Mary...
When my Mom called home that Sunday evening in March 2000 and said, "They think they're losing him," about my Dad, I said the Hail Mary in my head while my words were a constant "Oh no."
When they called to say that Rodney had been in a farming accident and it didn't look good, I paced the sidewalk, carrying my baby, wailing the Hail Mary up to the Heaven.
When my 7th-grade-ESP-project-pal Jane was hospitalized later when we were in our 30s with they-didn't-know-what-scary-thing-at-the-time, this Scary-Mary said the Hail Mary for that Scrapper-Jane.
When I hear today that a family friend who has lived through enough heartbreak needs chemo for a cancer that is advancing rapidly, Hail Mary immediately pops into my head.
Sometimes, I feel as if my soul is constantly praying to keep others safe and healthy and to keep my heart from breaking from the physical demands that life puts on my family and friends. If I could take the pain of a sickness or disability from them, I would. Anything from my child's muteness to my sister's surgery tomorrow, everything from a chronic condition to a specific event, I would take it, but I can't, and so I pray. I pray with my heart and my soul.
My prayers are not always answered with the outcome I desire, but I know that Mary intercedes on my behalf. She hears and listens.
When I hear tragic news, the first thing I say is Hail Mary...
When my Mom called home that Sunday evening in March 2000 and said, "They think they're losing him," about my Dad, I said the Hail Mary in my head while my words were a constant "Oh no."
When they called to say that Rodney had been in a farming accident and it didn't look good, I paced the sidewalk, carrying my baby, wailing the Hail Mary up to the Heaven.
When my 7th-grade-ESP-project-pal Jane was hospitalized later when we were in our 30s with they-didn't-know-what-scary-thing-at-the-time, this Scary-Mary said the Hail Mary for that Scrapper-Jane.
When I hear today that a family friend who has lived through enough heartbreak needs chemo for a cancer that is advancing rapidly, Hail Mary immediately pops into my head.
Sometimes, I feel as if my soul is constantly praying to keep others safe and healthy and to keep my heart from breaking from the physical demands that life puts on my family and friends. If I could take the pain of a sickness or disability from them, I would. Anything from my child's muteness to my sister's surgery tomorrow, everything from a chronic condition to a specific event, I would take it, but I can't, and so I pray. I pray with my heart and my soul.
My prayers are not always answered with the outcome I desire, but I know that Mary intercedes on my behalf. She hears and listens.
Monday, November 19, 2007
concern = burden = prayer
Any concern too small to be turned into a prayer is too small to be made into a burden.
-Corrie ten Boom
I am lighthearted today! It's been a long time since I was so on a Monday morning.
Sophie woke up cranky, but went into school fine.
I stopped at Target to return a pair of a shoes, the gazillionth that I have gotten for my Mom to try. And I found two Christmas presents for the girls...on sale!
People drive with their lights off and pull out in front of me, but I made it to work safely.
Small concerns...sometimes add up and seem unmanageable. So, keep them small, take care of them, manage them, and they cannot become a burden. These things that add up are not worth it.
Crankiness, errands, idiots = not worth the concern
-Corrie ten Boom
I am lighthearted today! It's been a long time since I was so on a Monday morning.
Sophie woke up cranky, but went into school fine.
I stopped at Target to return a pair of a shoes, the gazillionth that I have gotten for my Mom to try. And I found two Christmas presents for the girls...on sale!
People drive with their lights off and pull out in front of me, but I made it to work safely.
Small concerns...sometimes add up and seem unmanageable. So, keep them small, take care of them, manage them, and they cannot become a burden. These things that add up are not worth it.
Crankiness, errands, idiots = not worth the concern
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