If it's not one thing, it's another. Now, when I say this, I'm not wishing for something else to add to my already full plate. I'm just trying to say that there is always something on the plate.
Add to plate: I have TMJ.
I had a regularly-scheduled cleaning today, but I suspected that I had it. Over the last two weeks, my face has felt numb and tingling from my ear down to my jaw. After I relax or a little nap, the tingling went away. Since it's not worse in the morning, I'm guessing that this is stress-induced jaw-clenching and muscular in nature, and not that I am grinding my teeth when I sleep.
The dentist found one chipped tooth and some other smooth edges that would denote some teeth grinding. He felt my face while I moved my jaw around, and my jaw muscle was trembling.
Too bad I cannot afford any more dental work this year. (crap insurance!) So, I have to try to fix this on my own until next year.
Anyway, the dentist said that stress can cause it, as well as physical stress. So, if my back is tight and if my neck hurts, it could definitely lead to the TMJ in my jaw. The crapola work environment just keeps getting worse and worse!
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
Sunday, July 27, 2008
The unfairness of food
Most days, I have no problem with the dietary restrictions that I have. There are times though that are rougher than others. When I have control over what I order or when there are options available, I can choose wisely. Occasionally, I treat myself.
Sales meetings are one of those difficult events. If I just knew ahead of time what would be offered, I could prepare myself. Unfortunately, at the last one, the server incorrectly informed me what was on the dinner menu one evening, and there was a little hoodoo, but it all worked out. I splurged on the appetizers with 2 yummy shrimp and 1 fruity (more like jelly) pastry and even had 2 bites of some delicious chocolatey dessert.
I guess I get tired explaining it all the time. No one seems to understand. Even 2 nurses with whom I had a recent conversation didn't understand. They assumed that once you get rid of your gall bladder that you can eat all the fatty foods you want. Not true.
Anyway, there are other temptations out there. See my Mother's refrigerator freezer here:
Notice the top...not 1, not 2, but 3 frozen Pepperidge Farm cakes. My brother stocked up; there was probably a sale! However, take a look at the lower left corner. My Mom bought some veggie burgers so that I have something on hand whenever everyone else is eating a big cut of beef.
Now take a look at the deep freeze here:
Do you see all those pints of ice cream? Yummy-flavored ice cream? Yummy-flavored ice cream that I would love to devour?
So, my older brother can eat cake and ice cream every day...how is that fair?
Sales meetings are one of those difficult events. If I just knew ahead of time what would be offered, I could prepare myself. Unfortunately, at the last one, the server incorrectly informed me what was on the dinner menu one evening, and there was a little hoodoo, but it all worked out. I splurged on the appetizers with 2 yummy shrimp and 1 fruity (more like jelly) pastry and even had 2 bites of some delicious chocolatey dessert.
I guess I get tired explaining it all the time. No one seems to understand. Even 2 nurses with whom I had a recent conversation didn't understand. They assumed that once you get rid of your gall bladder that you can eat all the fatty foods you want. Not true.
Anyway, there are other temptations out there. See my Mother's refrigerator freezer here:
Notice the top...not 1, not 2, but 3 frozen Pepperidge Farm cakes. My brother stocked up; there was probably a sale! However, take a look at the lower left corner. My Mom bought some veggie burgers so that I have something on hand whenever everyone else is eating a big cut of beef.
Now take a look at the deep freeze here:
Do you see all those pints of ice cream? Yummy-flavored ice cream? Yummy-flavored ice cream that I would love to devour?
So, my older brother can eat cake and ice cream every day...how is that fair?
Mmm...butta
Mmm...Mmm...butta!I'm not exactly sure what Sophie thought this stick of butter was, but my Mother found it like this in her refrigerator.
There was some cheese in the dairy drawer. So, maybe she thought it was a big hunk of cheese, but she doesn't even like big hunks of cheese.
I'm just happy that she came to the conclusion not to eat the whole stick!
Saturday, July 19, 2008
cry-i-i-i-ng over you...
Roy Orbison sang it best. He sang about unrequited love or love gone bad. I feel it tonight, but differently. I cry for the love of family...missing by distance or in pain.
Hannah is off today for a week up north with a friend and her friend's family. I cried after I dropped her off at 1:30 p.m. I cried again when she first sent me a text at 6:37 p.m. And I cried just now at 9:42 p.m. when she sent another text that they had arrived at their destination. That does it...I'm going back to college when she goes.
My Mother is in the hospital tonight. I held it together on Thursday during the long day of prepping for surgery and recovery, but when I got in my jeep to leave the hospital after she was safely admitted into her room, I cried, gasping for the cool night air to bring me the will to keep going. Later that night after I got home, I cried as the adrenaline was gone, and the relief just washed over me. It's very hard to see the person who has always taken care of you, someone with beauty and grace and strength in more ways than she would ever admit, in such a helpless position.
I feel so splintered.
Hannah is off today for a week up north with a friend and her friend's family. I cried after I dropped her off at 1:30 p.m. I cried again when she first sent me a text at 6:37 p.m. And I cried just now at 9:42 p.m. when she sent another text that they had arrived at their destination. That does it...I'm going back to college when she goes.
My Mother is in the hospital tonight. I held it together on Thursday during the long day of prepping for surgery and recovery, but when I got in my jeep to leave the hospital after she was safely admitted into her room, I cried, gasping for the cool night air to bring me the will to keep going. Later that night after I got home, I cried as the adrenaline was gone, and the relief just washed over me. It's very hard to see the person who has always taken care of you, someone with beauty and grace and strength in more ways than she would ever admit, in such a helpless position.
I feel so splintered.
Friday, July 18, 2008
Aloof?
Now I am aloof? I absolutely love researchers. Hey, researchers, aloof this (hand gesture)!
New research shows that some parents of autistic children appear to be "socially aloof," providing more evidence that some aspects of autism are hereditary.
http://www.forbes.com/forbeslife/health/feeds/hscout/2008/07/17/hscout617555.html
"We found that some parents who have a child with autism process face information in a subtly, but clearly different way from other parents," Ralph Adolphs, another co-author on the paper and a neuroscientist at the California Institute of Technology, said in the news release. "This is evidence for the hypothesis that the parents with the autistic child have brains that function somewhat differently as well."
Socially aloof...what the heck does that mean? Even if Darren and I look at people's mouths instead of their eyes to process facial cues, would that really make my daughter unable to speak??? Would it really cause all sorts of digestive issues? Would it really cause her low muscle tone and her inability to control her muscles in the typical way? Come the "f" on!
Gee, big surprise...we are all different? Wow, I hope that these researcher made big bucks on that conclusion. Researcher, what is your real goal? Are Pharma companies and the AMA sliding you some cashola under the table to present your findings in a way that is placing "blame" on parents and not on the environmental factors?
Personally, I think that vaccines injured my daughter, but I never "blamed" the doctors. I'm sure that they thought they were doing what was best. But hey, if they cannot admit to the mistake, I don't really give a flying leap.
Researcher, you say that you are looking for a cause so that you can look for a cure? Bull-pucky. After you blame the parents, I never hear anything at all about a cure or anything at all that could help.
I would just like someone to come up with something, anything, to want to help my kid.
New research shows that some parents of autistic children appear to be "socially aloof," providing more evidence that some aspects of autism are hereditary.
http://www.forbes.com/forbeslife/health/feeds/hscout/2008/07/17/hscout617555.html
"We found that some parents who have a child with autism process face information in a subtly, but clearly different way from other parents," Ralph Adolphs, another co-author on the paper and a neuroscientist at the California Institute of Technology, said in the news release. "This is evidence for the hypothesis that the parents with the autistic child have brains that function somewhat differently as well."
Socially aloof...what the heck does that mean? Even if Darren and I look at people's mouths instead of their eyes to process facial cues, would that really make my daughter unable to speak??? Would it really cause all sorts of digestive issues? Would it really cause her low muscle tone and her inability to control her muscles in the typical way? Come the "f" on!
Gee, big surprise...we are all different? Wow, I hope that these researcher made big bucks on that conclusion. Researcher, what is your real goal? Are Pharma companies and the AMA sliding you some cashola under the table to present your findings in a way that is placing "blame" on parents and not on the environmental factors?
Personally, I think that vaccines injured my daughter, but I never "blamed" the doctors. I'm sure that they thought they were doing what was best. But hey, if they cannot admit to the mistake, I don't really give a flying leap.
Researcher, you say that you are looking for a cause so that you can look for a cure? Bull-pucky. After you blame the parents, I never hear anything at all about a cure or anything at all that could help.
I would just like someone to come up with something, anything, to want to help my kid.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
Books...
Books...are better than life.
You can pick up a book and live it whenever you want that life.
You can put the book down when you need a break.
No wonder I spent my youth up a tree reading a book. All summer long on any non-rainy day, I would climb the tree behind the house and read. Then I could take a walk to the swamp and pretend to be the heroine. In bad weather, I would hide in my room or in the basement, and I would be transported to another sunny life.
How wonderful and lucky that my parents gave me the safety and security of a childhood where I could live through books and nature.
The heroine of my book always has a struggle, but she endures, and she thrives.
Her family is always quirky, but good loving people.
Friends are always the loyal and supportive sidekicks that build the heroine up instead of tear down.
The struggle comes from God, nature, society, man, or self.
I'm old enough to be over, for the most part, my doubt of or anger at God. God does not cause me much struggle anymore. He is more of a comport, a guide, a beacon home.
In the safe confines of my hometown, I do not have to struggle with much of a force of nature. An occasional power outage, a foot of snow...those are not life-struggling events. Those are just things to deal with. Nature is usually my friend. I can remember being upset in college. I would just look out the window and watch the leaves blow on the tree. My Dad always said, "You do what you have to do."
Society is a fearful thing. You have to wonder what we are all thinking collectively to have gotten to such a strange place in our time. We think certain things are okay when they are so strange. I heard once that people who are afraid to be individuals join groups. I think as well, people want others to be like them to validate themselves. I don't want anyone to be like me...that would be boring. However, we're constantly held up to the expectations of others. If you don't dress like this or act like this, then you are nothing, because you are not like me. It's the ego of the individual to think that they represent society. My Dad always said, "You just have to get along with people."
Me against man. My Dad always said, "Everyone's different." Why is it, then, that we cannot be accepting of others when they are not like us? I'm going to try to be more accepting of rude, stupid people when dealing with them one on one. They cannot help it that they are not totally cool like me. Every one of us has no idea what the other person is feeling or thinking. There is all this history that no one else can truly understand. Why do we try? Maybe we should just accept it and hope for the best. We seem to all seek this partner in life, this witness. But do they really witness you...the real you? No person knows me. Maybe the struggle comes when you want them to know.
I am in a constant struggle against myself. I am also very comfortable with myself. That, in itself, is a constant struggle. Logic? Circles.
I wish I could put this book down for a minute. Or end this chapter and start a new one.
You can pick up a book and live it whenever you want that life.
You can put the book down when you need a break.
No wonder I spent my youth up a tree reading a book. All summer long on any non-rainy day, I would climb the tree behind the house and read. Then I could take a walk to the swamp and pretend to be the heroine. In bad weather, I would hide in my room or in the basement, and I would be transported to another sunny life.
How wonderful and lucky that my parents gave me the safety and security of a childhood where I could live through books and nature.
The heroine of my book always has a struggle, but she endures, and she thrives.
Her family is always quirky, but good loving people.
Friends are always the loyal and supportive sidekicks that build the heroine up instead of tear down.
The struggle comes from God, nature, society, man, or self.
I'm old enough to be over, for the most part, my doubt of or anger at God. God does not cause me much struggle anymore. He is more of a comport, a guide, a beacon home.
In the safe confines of my hometown, I do not have to struggle with much of a force of nature. An occasional power outage, a foot of snow...those are not life-struggling events. Those are just things to deal with. Nature is usually my friend. I can remember being upset in college. I would just look out the window and watch the leaves blow on the tree. My Dad always said, "You do what you have to do."
Society is a fearful thing. You have to wonder what we are all thinking collectively to have gotten to such a strange place in our time. We think certain things are okay when they are so strange. I heard once that people who are afraid to be individuals join groups. I think as well, people want others to be like them to validate themselves. I don't want anyone to be like me...that would be boring. However, we're constantly held up to the expectations of others. If you don't dress like this or act like this, then you are nothing, because you are not like me. It's the ego of the individual to think that they represent society. My Dad always said, "You just have to get along with people."
Me against man. My Dad always said, "Everyone's different." Why is it, then, that we cannot be accepting of others when they are not like us? I'm going to try to be more accepting of rude, stupid people when dealing with them one on one. They cannot help it that they are not totally cool like me. Every one of us has no idea what the other person is feeling or thinking. There is all this history that no one else can truly understand. Why do we try? Maybe we should just accept it and hope for the best. We seem to all seek this partner in life, this witness. But do they really witness you...the real you? No person knows me. Maybe the struggle comes when you want them to know.
I am in a constant struggle against myself. I am also very comfortable with myself. That, in itself, is a constant struggle. Logic? Circles.
I wish I could put this book down for a minute. Or end this chapter and start a new one.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Next step...a good lawyer?
Anyone know a good lawyer? Are there good lawyers? Maybe I should ask for "bad" lawyer?
Anyway, looking for one based in Washtenaw County? My friend from the previous post inquired. My divorce lawyer retired, but he was good. Really good. Or was that really bad? hehe
Anyway, looking for one based in Washtenaw County? My friend from the previous post inquired. My divorce lawyer retired, but he was good. Really good. Or was that really bad? hehe
Monday, July 14, 2008
double trouble
What would you do if your friend's abusive husband doubled the life insurance on her?
He is crazy. He's going to make it seem like an accident.
She needs to leave and get far away.
He is controlling, abusive, obsessed. He is really sick.
I'm not sure how she found out about the life insurance, but she's just not safe there.
I truly believe that he would kill her before letting her get a divorce.
He's all about how something looks. He has no substance.
He is crazy. He's going to make it seem like an accident.
She needs to leave and get far away.
He is controlling, abusive, obsessed. He is really sick.
I'm not sure how she found out about the life insurance, but she's just not safe there.
I truly believe that he would kill her before letting her get a divorce.
He's all about how something looks. He has no substance.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Autism...kissin' cousins & back to the refrigerator?
"It also showed that, at least in many of the families studied, autism appears to be caused by the combination of faulty DNA and something in the physical or social environment of an affected child after birth." ~ from "Autism gene search turns up hope for treatment" (Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:41pm EDT - http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1025798120080710)
Oh..this makes me mad. The quote is the 3rd paragraph in the article. If you keep going, you will read that 88 of the 104 families studied had parents who were 1st cousins. What??? I am sorry, but that is not a representative group of typical families in the world. Jeez...Are kissin' cousins really representative? Who sponsored this research...big pharma companies? The vaccine-makers? These researchers should be taken to task for such a ridiculous test group.
Are we really going to go back to the 60s to blame autism on the social environment? Am I to be called a refrigerator Mom? My children have never lacked for affection. If stress during pregnancy causes autism, then my ex-husband can take all the blame. My daughter never lacked for love and affection from me and my family. She has always been loved beyond belief!
Vaccines did it. Vaccines injured her.
Oh..this makes me mad. The quote is the 3rd paragraph in the article. If you keep going, you will read that 88 of the 104 families studied had parents who were 1st cousins. What??? I am sorry, but that is not a representative group of typical families in the world. Jeez...Are kissin' cousins really representative? Who sponsored this research...big pharma companies? The vaccine-makers? These researchers should be taken to task for such a ridiculous test group.
Are we really going to go back to the 60s to blame autism on the social environment? Am I to be called a refrigerator Mom? My children have never lacked for affection. If stress during pregnancy causes autism, then my ex-husband can take all the blame. My daughter never lacked for love and affection from me and my family. She has always been loved beyond belief!
Vaccines did it. Vaccines injured her.
Friday, July 4, 2008
I pulled out a Plum
Can you believe it? I have yet to read Fearless 14! (from Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series)
I own 14. I have it. It's still in its shipping package. I'm reading all the others before I read 14. I own 1-7 and got 8 out of the library. I finished 8 today. I do not own 9 or 10 or 11. I've come all this way. I can't skip ahead to 12. What was I thinking? Why was I not prepared?
So, in order to get my Plum fix this evening, I've decided to cast the movie. Yes, I've done this before, but it's always fun, especially when Sharon argues about the Ranger character! Here we go...
Stephanie: If not me, then Lauren Graham - Since she's done with Gilmore Girls, I'm sure she has the time. She can do funny, sad, serious, and we know that she can handle the love triangle! Plus, she's already made out with Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. Lucky girl!
Joe: Jeffrey Dean Morgan - He can be tough and sweet. I can see him riding a Ducati and calling me Cupcake. I mean calling Stephanie Cupcake.
Ranger: Vin Diesel - Ranger will always be Vin Diesel to me. Strong, silent, kick-ass hunk of testosterone and muscle, and yet can be serious as well.
Tank: The Rock - I can see Dwayne Johnson backing up Vin Diesel and being all sweet with Lula. Lula needs a big, sensitive man, and The Rock can fill those shoes. (As reply to Sharon's comment, Michael Clarke Duncan would definitely make a great Tank, but I just cannot move Vin out of the Ranger role for Dwayne. However, I would watch Sharon's movie if made that way. hehe)
Diesel: Paul Walker or Gerard Butler - Paul has the goofiness, but Gerard could play the mysterious aspect. Not enough of Diesel in the off-number books to decide between the two. (Hmm...Paul's been in the movies with Vin, and Gerard has been in a flick with Jeffrey Dean Morgan.)
Lula: Sherri Shepherd - Lovable, energetic, excitement. Can't you see her moseying on up to The Rock?
Connie: Jennifer Coolidge - She could put Vinnie in his place.
Grandma Mazur: Ann Morgan Guilbert - I've never pictured anyone other than The Nanny's Grandma Yetta.
Mr. Plum: James Gandolfini - I can just see him sitting at the table, behind the paper, mumbling expletives at Grandma Mazur.
Mrs. Plum: Blythe Danner - The look. She can give the look. And she'll be standing on the porch waiting for Stephanie.
Valerie: Jennie Garth - The perfect daughter, who is kind of bumbling, but could also ram a van through a house to save her sister.
Kloughn: Kevin James - Who else could play the Pillsbury Doughboy? We know he can pull it off...Hitch.
Vinnie: Steve Buscemi or Joe Pantoliano - Sometimes, I picture one, and at other times, I picture the other. What was I thinking??? Now that I am in Book 9, Vinnie must be Stanley Tucci. I love him. He can play a weenie, but a lovable one. And he would be capable of bounty hunter stuff.
Joyce: Debi Mazar - She can do mean (Beethoven movies). She could pull off those leather outfits.
Mooner: Jon Heder - Is there anyone else?
Dougie: Matthew Lillard - Think Shaggy.
Dickie Orr: Ben Affleck - Wannabe corporate climber
Sally Sweet: Steve Valentine - He's the closest actor to a guy I went to college with that I picture in this role.
Mrs. Morelli: Lorraine Bracco - Strong, no-nonsense matriarch
Grandma Bella: Olympia Dukakis - She could put the eye on anyone, but turn around and wink at Joe.
Eddie Gazarra: George Eads - Actually, he's a runner-up for Joe, and so I put him here so that he'd still be in the movie, because he is hot.
Carl Costanza: Mark Wahlberg - He is just hot, not that Carl is described that way. Again...he needs to be in my movie.
Mary Lou: Melissa McCarthy - Would this be hilarious...teaming Sookie and Lorelai back up?
I own 14. I have it. It's still in its shipping package. I'm reading all the others before I read 14. I own 1-7 and got 8 out of the library. I finished 8 today. I do not own 9 or 10 or 11. I've come all this way. I can't skip ahead to 12. What was I thinking? Why was I not prepared?
So, in order to get my Plum fix this evening, I've decided to cast the movie. Yes, I've done this before, but it's always fun, especially when Sharon argues about the Ranger character! Here we go...
Stephanie: If not me, then Lauren Graham - Since she's done with Gilmore Girls, I'm sure she has the time. She can do funny, sad, serious, and we know that she can handle the love triangle! Plus, she's already made out with Vin Diesel in The Pacifier. Lucky girl!
Joe: Jeffrey Dean Morgan - He can be tough and sweet. I can see him riding a Ducati and calling me Cupcake. I mean calling Stephanie Cupcake.
Ranger: Vin Diesel - Ranger will always be Vin Diesel to me. Strong, silent, kick-ass hunk of testosterone and muscle, and yet can be serious as well.
Tank: The Rock - I can see Dwayne Johnson backing up Vin Diesel and being all sweet with Lula. Lula needs a big, sensitive man, and The Rock can fill those shoes. (As reply to Sharon's comment, Michael Clarke Duncan would definitely make a great Tank, but I just cannot move Vin out of the Ranger role for Dwayne. However, I would watch Sharon's movie if made that way. hehe)
Diesel: Paul Walker or Gerard Butler - Paul has the goofiness, but Gerard could play the mysterious aspect. Not enough of Diesel in the off-number books to decide between the two. (Hmm...Paul's been in the movies with Vin, and Gerard has been in a flick with Jeffrey Dean Morgan.)
Lula: Sherri Shepherd - Lovable, energetic, excitement. Can't you see her moseying on up to The Rock?
Connie: Jennifer Coolidge - She could put Vinnie in his place.
Grandma Mazur: Ann Morgan Guilbert - I've never pictured anyone other than The Nanny's Grandma Yetta.
Mr. Plum: James Gandolfini - I can just see him sitting at the table, behind the paper, mumbling expletives at Grandma Mazur.
Mrs. Plum: Blythe Danner - The look. She can give the look. And she'll be standing on the porch waiting for Stephanie.
Valerie: Jennie Garth - The perfect daughter, who is kind of bumbling, but could also ram a van through a house to save her sister.
Kloughn: Kevin James - Who else could play the Pillsbury Doughboy? We know he can pull it off...Hitch.
Vinnie: Steve Buscemi or Joe Pantoliano - Sometimes, I picture one, and at other times, I picture the other. What was I thinking??? Now that I am in Book 9, Vinnie must be Stanley Tucci. I love him. He can play a weenie, but a lovable one. And he would be capable of bounty hunter stuff.
Joyce: Debi Mazar - She can do mean (Beethoven movies). She could pull off those leather outfits.
Mooner: Jon Heder - Is there anyone else?
Dougie: Matthew Lillard - Think Shaggy.
Dickie Orr: Ben Affleck - Wannabe corporate climber
Sally Sweet: Steve Valentine - He's the closest actor to a guy I went to college with that I picture in this role.
Mrs. Morelli: Lorraine Bracco - Strong, no-nonsense matriarch
Grandma Bella: Olympia Dukakis - She could put the eye on anyone, but turn around and wink at Joe.
Eddie Gazarra: George Eads - Actually, he's a runner-up for Joe, and so I put him here so that he'd still be in the movie, because he is hot.
Carl Costanza: Mark Wahlberg - He is just hot, not that Carl is described that way. Again...he needs to be in my movie.
Mary Lou: Melissa McCarthy - Would this be hilarious...teaming Sookie and Lorelai back up?
Thursday, July 3, 2008
No relationship is better!
I just had a conversation with a friend...on how when you are in a bad relationship, it's hard to see it for yourself.
My friend is in a good relationship. She's happily married. Of course, you all know that I am not in a relationship, at least not a real one with a real man. There's always Joe...he's so dependable...waiting for me in his tank.
Anyway, I have several friends who are in BAD relationships right now. It's hard to hear about them; it's hard to listen to the crying all the time. I think back to when I would call my Mother every night crying, wondering what in the world was going on with my husband and why was he doing the things he was doing. That was 10 years ago...a lifetime ago! I didn't even really know what he was doing at the time. I just knew that he continually hurt my feelings. Why would he do that?
I had another bad relationship. He wants to restart it. There's no way. I'm out of it now and can see that it did neither of us any good the way that it was. There was no abuse or anything like that. It was just dysfunctional.
The better question that I can ask myself now is...why did I put up with it? With the crap from either one?
How can I get my friends to see this, to realize that they do NOT have to put up with it.
One friend is married. She is constantly belittled by her controlling, abusive husband. He's slowly, but surely killing her spirit.
One friend...I just read about in the newspaper! No names were mentioned, but I'm sure that it's her. Domestic assault...there is no excuse. Get out. Get out of that shit now! Why would you want to be with someone like that when you could be content with yourself? And she made excuses for him. Why? Where there is so much smoke, there is fire.
Hindsight is clear. Wake up! Pretend to be out of the relationship. Wake up and look at what
you're allowing to happen to yourself. Would you want your child, your sibling, your niece, your friend in a relationship like yours? NO!
Your body is a temple. Your mind...your soul...take care.
Relationships are taking care of one another. If he is not taking care with you, he is NOT worth it. He needs to care for every part of you. He needs to treasure you. We are all Princesses. If he is not Prince material, kick his butt to the curb.
I met a woman a couple of weeks ago at an event. Her husband is cheating on her. They have two young children. (Sound familiar?) He is still living at home, and she is still cooking for him and doing his laundry. NO! NO! NO! No way! Out, damn spot! OUT! He is not taking care of her; he is disrespecting her. She owes him nothing. This is not mutual. Put (some of) his clothes in a garbage bag and put it on the stoop! He is a parasite. You may have loved him once, but he is no longer that good person. He is Kafka's cockroach. He changed.
This life is about building up one another. If he is tearing you down, you do NOT need him.
No one looks forward to a relationship ending. We grow up dreaming about a marriage that lasts forever. Well, it takes two, baby! It takes two!
It takes two, and it takes two who lovingly, adoringly work at it.
Last week, I went to a graduation party. (Weddings have the same effect on me.) Might as well call them Noah's Arks. Everyone is paired off...and then there's Maude! No, that's not right. hehe. And then there's me...ALONE. It's not easy. It sometimes makes me sad. But I have other relationships. I have family who would never desert me. I have friends who think I am wonderful. Until I meet a man who can meet those requirements, yes, requirements, I don't need to bother with jerks. I am a wonderful woman. I deserve a wonderful man.
These wonderful women that I mentioned all deserve better.
My friend is in a good relationship. She's happily married. Of course, you all know that I am not in a relationship, at least not a real one with a real man. There's always Joe...he's so dependable...waiting for me in his tank.
Anyway, I have several friends who are in BAD relationships right now. It's hard to hear about them; it's hard to listen to the crying all the time. I think back to when I would call my Mother every night crying, wondering what in the world was going on with my husband and why was he doing the things he was doing. That was 10 years ago...a lifetime ago! I didn't even really know what he was doing at the time. I just knew that he continually hurt my feelings. Why would he do that?
I had another bad relationship. He wants to restart it. There's no way. I'm out of it now and can see that it did neither of us any good the way that it was. There was no abuse or anything like that. It was just dysfunctional.
The better question that I can ask myself now is...why did I put up with it? With the crap from either one?
How can I get my friends to see this, to realize that they do NOT have to put up with it.
One friend is married. She is constantly belittled by her controlling, abusive husband. He's slowly, but surely killing her spirit.
One friend...I just read about in the newspaper! No names were mentioned, but I'm sure that it's her. Domestic assault...there is no excuse. Get out. Get out of that shit now! Why would you want to be with someone like that when you could be content with yourself? And she made excuses for him. Why? Where there is so much smoke, there is fire.
Hindsight is clear. Wake up! Pretend to be out of the relationship. Wake up and look at what
you're allowing to happen to yourself. Would you want your child, your sibling, your niece, your friend in a relationship like yours? NO!
Your body is a temple. Your mind...your soul...take care.
Relationships are taking care of one another. If he is not taking care with you, he is NOT worth it. He needs to care for every part of you. He needs to treasure you. We are all Princesses. If he is not Prince material, kick his butt to the curb.
I met a woman a couple of weeks ago at an event. Her husband is cheating on her. They have two young children. (Sound familiar?) He is still living at home, and she is still cooking for him and doing his laundry. NO! NO! NO! No way! Out, damn spot! OUT! He is not taking care of her; he is disrespecting her. She owes him nothing. This is not mutual. Put (some of) his clothes in a garbage bag and put it on the stoop! He is a parasite. You may have loved him once, but he is no longer that good person. He is Kafka's cockroach. He changed.
This life is about building up one another. If he is tearing you down, you do NOT need him.
No one looks forward to a relationship ending. We grow up dreaming about a marriage that lasts forever. Well, it takes two, baby! It takes two!
It takes two, and it takes two who lovingly, adoringly work at it.
Last week, I went to a graduation party. (Weddings have the same effect on me.) Might as well call them Noah's Arks. Everyone is paired off...and then there's Maude! No, that's not right. hehe. And then there's me...ALONE. It's not easy. It sometimes makes me sad. But I have other relationships. I have family who would never desert me. I have friends who think I am wonderful. Until I meet a man who can meet those requirements, yes, requirements, I don't need to bother with jerks. I am a wonderful woman. I deserve a wonderful man.
These wonderful women that I mentioned all deserve better.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Dreaming about work? or at work?
I had a dream. It seemed to last all night long. I kept thinking to myself. This is a dream...I wish it would change gears and get better. Anyway, Doug in Facilities took away my nice, big, 3-drawer file cabinet and replaced it with this really beat-up 2-drawer thing that barely opened up for about 10 files to fit. I guess this goes along with my last posting. I just don't feel like the company is giving me what I need to succeed. I kept trying to get them to give me back the nice cabinet. I went looking for it. I asked others to help me look for it, but they left me hanging.
And then it was storming - raining, blowing, snowing - at work, in the building. Not so much symbolic, as the actual temperature in the actual building. (Right now, I'm wearing a jacket and am covered up with a blanket.) Why they think shivering is conducive to productivity is beyond me?
It was so nice to work in a nice temperature on Monday from home. My shoulders weren't all hunched up at the end of the day. Yesterday, I went out at lunch, mainly because others were driving me insane with their constant chatter. However, it gave me a chance to warm up. How nice, not to be frozen to the core! Anyway, I'll have to find something to do during my lunch hours. I cannot go out to eat every day, because my body cannot handle that. I cannot go out shopping every day, because my wallet cannot handle that. Too bad there's no hot dude I can meet on my lunch hour! Now, that would make me dream AT work, instead of dreaming ABOUT work. That would be way better!
And then it was storming - raining, blowing, snowing - at work, in the building. Not so much symbolic, as the actual temperature in the actual building. (Right now, I'm wearing a jacket and am covered up with a blanket.) Why they think shivering is conducive to productivity is beyond me?
It was so nice to work in a nice temperature on Monday from home. My shoulders weren't all hunched up at the end of the day. Yesterday, I went out at lunch, mainly because others were driving me insane with their constant chatter. However, it gave me a chance to warm up. How nice, not to be frozen to the core! Anyway, I'll have to find something to do during my lunch hours. I cannot go out to eat every day, because my body cannot handle that. I cannot go out shopping every day, because my wallet cannot handle that. Too bad there's no hot dude I can meet on my lunch hour! Now, that would make me dream AT work, instead of dreaming ABOUT work. That would be way better!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
Am I really cut out for sales?
I am so ready to cry.
I work my booty off. I am busy. I am nice to my customers. I get things done. Nothing comes from it. Not even mentioning co-workers who stand around and chat all freaking day long. Not just comments here and there. They chatter all day long. And then they ring the freaking bell...order in!
I keep explaining what I need so that I can be successful. It's just not happening. I am being set up for failure. Why?
I work my booty off. I am busy. I am nice to my customers. I get things done. Nothing comes from it. Not even mentioning co-workers who stand around and chat all freaking day long. Not just comments here and there. They chatter all day long. And then they ring the freaking bell...order in!
I keep explaining what I need so that I can be successful. It's just not happening. I am being set up for failure. Why?
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