Friend: I am not taking one side or another, but do you know anything about the Lancet?
Mary: sure...I know all about it.
Friend: what do you know about it
Mary: world's leading general medical journal
Friend: well there are lots of different ones, but when I was in Neurology it was really respected. I just want to make sure you know it is not just a tabloid. It goes back and rechecks research and is one of the few that will say "Hey we made a mistake with analyzing the research" I cant imagine sometimes your life Mary, but try to keep an open mind. I had physicians - some of which I really respected - others that I mocked - that swore by the research it reports.
Friend: Different specialties of the Lancet http://www.thelancet.com/
Mary: I know all about the Lancet.
Mary: so in another 10 years, when they come back and say someone else paid for the research to discredit Wakefield. what then?
Mary: research is big business
Mary: autism is now becoming big business
Mary: it's not business
Mary: it's my life
Friend: I am sorry Mary. I just wanted to try to give you information. That's all. I didn't mean to get you upset.
Friend: I understand your life.
Mary: You didn't upset me. I already posted it on my facebook earlier today.
Mary: that autism is becoming chic (HBO movie) and the business of controversy (doctors blaming parents and parents blaming doctors) angers me
Mary: all the research does is try to place blame...
Mary: and none of that helps my Sophie
Friend: Oh, I agree. why do drs. blame parents... what possibly?
Mary: for the most part...doctors have god complexes or at the very least huge egos
Mary: and the nice ones? they don't want to hurt people...that's not why they became doctors.
Friend: Of course
Mary: so, they can't conceive that the vaccines are harmful
Friend: They are trained to trust
Mary: Have you gotten a shot lately? Have you read ALL that could go wrong? So, why can't they believe that something perhaps they don't know about could also go wrong?
Friend: When they are in med school, they don't know the chaos of the research. They evolve when they go through their residencies and internships and fellowships. And the drug companies are the biggest sinners. Someday, you'll know my path.
Friend: I got my yrly flu and the HINI.
Friend: but believe, me I am counting on a higher power to change things. The FDA is the biggest sinner on the planet
Mary: I got the Hep shots before going to Punta Cana...I could not let my Mom read all that could go wrong. I could feel that stuff going through me.
Friend: Well, you survived. I am proud of you! The contaminants have exited by now and you wouldn't have that time with your sister....
Friend I'll let you go, as always, I am praying for you and your beautiful family!
Mary: I know! Same goes for you!
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label autism. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Friday, October 23, 2009
Purple beads
Dear friend,
I've been thinking of you! I'm sorry that things perhaps are not going the way that you want and hope right now. When things get particularly tough, just remember to take a moment to thank God for all that He has given you, for that act of kindness when your day is going rough, or the memory of a you and a friend, or the sound of your children laughing. It is in these simple things that I can sometimes find the strength I need.
Last Saturday night, I took Sophie to the grocery store. Actually, she demanded it. She didn't pick out too many snacks, and so I knew she was really focused on getting to the frozen food aisle. I dread that row that encases those delightful ice creams. I try to get Sophie out of Polly's with no more than one container. She went straight for the plastic bag full of serving-size-vanillas. Then, I said, "just one" over and over, as I try to block her path, but am always fearful that her 165-pounds will go right through a glass door. While I am picturing in my frazzled head what I will do if she is surrounded by broken shards of glass, she slides behind me for the rectangle of pistachio, which I don't think she even really likes, but favors the color green right now. "Just one, just one," I repeat. Deaf ears! She wants and grabs a round quart of vanilla. I manage to return the vanilla quart without a major tantrum, which can include throwing herself to the floor. I can no longer pick her up, and so I do what I can so that I don't have to try. I grab her arm and hurry her down and around the corner. We pick up milk, bread, yogurt, and then I think..."How will I ever get her back past the frozen aisle to the check-out lane?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see that someone...something has caught Sophie's attention. The most beautiful sight! There was my friend's sister...your sister...with the most sparkly purple and gold mardi gras beads wrapped around her neck. Ice cream...no more! Sophie had eyes only for those purple beads. (Purple is also one of her favorite colors right now too.) Your sister was gracious enough to give Sophie a strand of her purple beads, even before the words had been said, "Hi, Sophie really likes your beads...the purple ones." Sophie was laughing at her twirling purple before we checked out...more ice cream forgotten!
Her act of kindness and Sophie's laughter eased my trip to the store, but it is the love I have for friends like you when I think of you, when I see your family, that gives me strength and reminds me of all that God has given me...my family and friends.
Anyway, I have been thinking of you. If you need anything, you just need to say.
Love, Mary
I've been thinking of you! I'm sorry that things perhaps are not going the way that you want and hope right now. When things get particularly tough, just remember to take a moment to thank God for all that He has given you, for that act of kindness when your day is going rough, or the memory of a you and a friend, or the sound of your children laughing. It is in these simple things that I can sometimes find the strength I need.
Last Saturday night, I took Sophie to the grocery store. Actually, she demanded it. She didn't pick out too many snacks, and so I knew she was really focused on getting to the frozen food aisle. I dread that row that encases those delightful ice creams. I try to get Sophie out of Polly's with no more than one container. She went straight for the plastic bag full of serving-size-vanillas. Then, I said, "just one" over and over, as I try to block her path, but am always fearful that her 165-pounds will go right through a glass door. While I am picturing in my frazzled head what I will do if she is surrounded by broken shards of glass, she slides behind me for the rectangle of pistachio, which I don't think she even really likes, but favors the color green right now. "Just one, just one," I repeat. Deaf ears! She wants and grabs a round quart of vanilla. I manage to return the vanilla quart without a major tantrum, which can include throwing herself to the floor. I can no longer pick her up, and so I do what I can so that I don't have to try. I grab her arm and hurry her down and around the corner. We pick up milk, bread, yogurt, and then I think..."How will I ever get her back past the frozen aisle to the check-out lane?" Out of the corner of my eye, I see that someone...something has caught Sophie's attention. The most beautiful sight! There was my friend's sister...your sister...with the most sparkly purple and gold mardi gras beads wrapped around her neck. Ice cream...no more! Sophie had eyes only for those purple beads. (Purple is also one of her favorite colors right now too.) Your sister was gracious enough to give Sophie a strand of her purple beads, even before the words had been said, "Hi, Sophie really likes your beads...the purple ones." Sophie was laughing at her twirling purple before we checked out...more ice cream forgotten!
Her act of kindness and Sophie's laughter eased my trip to the store, but it is the love I have for friends like you when I think of you, when I see your family, that gives me strength and reminds me of all that God has given me...my family and friends.
Anyway, I have been thinking of you. If you need anything, you just need to say.
Love, Mary
Sunday, October 18, 2009
monotony and chaos
Ever feel like everyone else is out having fun and you're trapped in a hell of monotony and chaos?
Ever cry uncontrollably because you cannot manage to do the same thing over and over and over again?
It's not just doing the dishes every day. It's washing dishes, having the phone ring, leaving the kitchen to answer the phone, returning to find dirty dishes mixed with the clean ones drying.
It's not just the laundry. It's doing the laundry, only to find piles and piles more on your daughter's floor.
It's not just sweeping the floor. It's sweeping the floor, leaving the room for 5 minutes, and returning to find half a box of Special K on the floor and the rest on the table.
Ever cry uncontrollably because you cannot manage to do the same thing over and over and over again?
It's not just doing the dishes every day. It's washing dishes, having the phone ring, leaving the kitchen to answer the phone, returning to find dirty dishes mixed with the clean ones drying.
It's not just the laundry. It's doing the laundry, only to find piles and piles more on your daughter's floor.
It's not just sweeping the floor. It's sweeping the floor, leaving the room for 5 minutes, and returning to find half a box of Special K on the floor and the rest on the table.
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Mommy's stress causes autism?
...the findings suggest that prenatal stress might have lingering effects on children's brain structures -- particularly those involved in language and verbal abilities. Read the rest of the article.
Stress is a cause for most anything that can go wrong in your body. If you look up any disease/illness, stress can be a precursor.
Was I stressed during my pregnancy with Sophie? Heck yeah.
My then-husband started cheating on me early on in that pregnancy. Although I didn't know that he was cheating, cheaters act differently, and I picked up on those changes. He came home later than usual, didn't help out around the house, etc. All of that added stress. He moved out of the house when I was about 6 months pregnant. More stress. Basically, he was a jerk.
So, was the stress I felt my fault for not handling it better? Or was it his fault for being the worst husband/dad in the universe? (Obviously, I know the answer!)
Stress is a cause for most anything that can go wrong in your body. If you look up any disease/illness, stress can be a precursor.
Was I stressed during my pregnancy with Sophie? Heck yeah.
My then-husband started cheating on me early on in that pregnancy. Although I didn't know that he was cheating, cheaters act differently, and I picked up on those changes. He came home later than usual, didn't help out around the house, etc. All of that added stress. He moved out of the house when I was about 6 months pregnant. More stress. Basically, he was a jerk.
So, was the stress I felt my fault for not handling it better? Or was it his fault for being the worst husband/dad in the universe? (Obviously, I know the answer!)
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Autism...letter to teachers
I just wanted to thank you all in advance for everything you'll be doing for and with Sophie this school year! I'm so excited that she's had a good first few days and expect the goodness to continue all year.
If you have any suggestions, I'm more than willing to listen. Your suggestion might be something I've thought about, but accidentally zoomed by without addressing or trying. (The mind of a parent of a special needs child goes 100 mph.)
Also, if you have any questions or concerns about Sophie, please let me know. All my phone numbers are below, or please email. Whatever works for you.
In lieu of filling out the forms that Mrs. Hamilton sent home, I've written a bit here about Sophie (from her perspective) for those who don't know her all that well yet!
My name is Sophie Lash. I am 9 years old...almost 10!
I live with my Mom and my sister Hannah...right across the street from South Meadows. My Dad lives near Lansing, and he comes to see me and my sister once or twice a month, but he really doesn't spend a lot of time with me. I have a Grandma who lives in Chelsea. I get off the bus at Grandma's house. I have 2 Uncles who I get to see a bunch. You will see Uncle John when my Mom goes to California (January 11-15). As much as I like school, I really like to be with Grandma, but Uncle John will help me get to school on those days. I also have an Aunt, Uncle, and 2 cousins in Kansas. I also have a Great Uncle who is 95 years old. You'll see them all on my Dynavox!
A most noticeable thing about me is that I don’t talk yet. My mom hopes that I will someday, but for now, I use pictures and the Dynavox to tell what I want. I can also get my point across in other ways. Can you imagine how hard it is to communicate without being able to talk? When I get really mad, I sometimes say Mom or No. When you least expect it, a word might just slip out.
I am very strong and fast, if I want to be. Sometimes, I move as slow as a snail.
I like to watch movies with lots of music and dancing. I like watching the Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House, Barney (sometimes on youtube.com). I like Kidsongs videos too. Once in a while, I like more grown-up movies like Shrek, Stuart Little, and Annie.
I like music a lot. I go to music therapy once a week with Mr. Mike in Ann Arbor. For this school year, it will be on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Did you know that people hear music with a different part of their brain than they hear talking? It’s easier for me to understand music or singing. So, sometimes when I am not in a good mood or paying attention, I listen to music, and it makes me feel better. Singing what you want to tell me gets me to understand a little better too. I love my ipod!
I like toys. I like little toys. (You might call them manipulatives.) I love my beads. If I am mad and need to calm down, please give me my beads. I like to flutter little toys or beads. Besides really liking that visual stimulation, I am the champion bead-twirler of the universe.
I like puzzles. I am really good at putting puzzles together. I like the alphabet and numbers and maps. I like the calendar.
I like any group of things that I can look at and study and then display the way that I want. My Mom says that I am an artist of installation pieces. I like to create pretty displays that take up the whole room!
I love to play in the water. In the sink, I use different cups and watch the way the light hits the water. Sometimes, I like really hot water, so please help me watch out so that I don't hurt myself or anyone else.
I like junk food. My Mom tries and tries to get me to eat healthier food, but I just don’t like the smell or the texture of that food. The somewhat healthy things I like are popcorn, rice cakes, yogurt, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, nuts, corn chex and rice chex. The unhealthy things are ice cream and cookies. (Watch out...I will nab your cookies if they are left out!)
I like animals. I have a dog, named Rascal, who I tolerate. My friend Belinda has a cat. I like to kiss and pet the cat. I spent a lot of time at Belinda’s playing with other kids this summer.
Sometimes transitions can be very hard for me. Beads and music and patience help. I'm not trying to be difficult, just trying to work through things. If I am really angry, singing the alphabet song or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" or counting to ten helps me settle down. It helps me focus on something other than my frustration. (If I take your hands and twist them in diferent directions, I am requesting your rendition of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider".)
I don't like my hair touched, but then again, sometimes I might want you to press on my head. (I tolerate the hair-combing when I absolutely have to! I'm getting better. This summer, I sat in the chair and wore the cape when I got my haircut. My Mom almost cried, and the hairdresser was so pleased!) I am way better at brushing my teeth than I used to be, but trips to the dentist are still pretty rough on me and the dentist. I like to have my arms, hands, legs, and feet rubbed. I might ask you to rub my arms.
I'm very sweet and loving and smart. I have a lot inside me that is just waiting to come out.
As you can tell I could talk forever about Sophie. In fact, I'll be on a panel in October at Siena Heights University, giving the parent's perspective on autism. I'm afraid I won't give anyone else a chance to talk.
If you have any suggestions, I'm more than willing to listen. Your suggestion might be something I've thought about, but accidentally zoomed by without addressing or trying. (The mind of a parent of a special needs child goes 100 mph.)
Also, if you have any questions or concerns about Sophie, please let me know. All my phone numbers are below, or please email. Whatever works for you.
In lieu of filling out the forms that Mrs. Hamilton sent home, I've written a bit here about Sophie (from her perspective) for those who don't know her all that well yet!
My name is Sophie Lash. I am 9 years old...almost 10!
I live with my Mom and my sister Hannah...right across the street from South Meadows. My Dad lives near Lansing, and he comes to see me and my sister once or twice a month, but he really doesn't spend a lot of time with me. I have a Grandma who lives in Chelsea. I get off the bus at Grandma's house. I have 2 Uncles who I get to see a bunch. You will see Uncle John when my Mom goes to California (January 11-15). As much as I like school, I really like to be with Grandma, but Uncle John will help me get to school on those days. I also have an Aunt, Uncle, and 2 cousins in Kansas. I also have a Great Uncle who is 95 years old. You'll see them all on my Dynavox!
A most noticeable thing about me is that I don’t talk yet. My mom hopes that I will someday, but for now, I use pictures and the Dynavox to tell what I want. I can also get my point across in other ways. Can you imagine how hard it is to communicate without being able to talk? When I get really mad, I sometimes say Mom or No. When you least expect it, a word might just slip out.
I am very strong and fast, if I want to be. Sometimes, I move as slow as a snail.
I like to watch movies with lots of music and dancing. I like watching the Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House, Barney (sometimes on youtube.com). I like Kidsongs videos too. Once in a while, I like more grown-up movies like Shrek, Stuart Little, and Annie.
I like music a lot. I go to music therapy once a week with Mr. Mike in Ann Arbor. For this school year, it will be on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Did you know that people hear music with a different part of their brain than they hear talking? It’s easier for me to understand music or singing. So, sometimes when I am not in a good mood or paying attention, I listen to music, and it makes me feel better. Singing what you want to tell me gets me to understand a little better too. I love my ipod!
I like toys. I like little toys. (You might call them manipulatives.) I love my beads. If I am mad and need to calm down, please give me my beads. I like to flutter little toys or beads. Besides really liking that visual stimulation, I am the champion bead-twirler of the universe.
I like puzzles. I am really good at putting puzzles together. I like the alphabet and numbers and maps. I like the calendar.
I like any group of things that I can look at and study and then display the way that I want. My Mom says that I am an artist of installation pieces. I like to create pretty displays that take up the whole room!
I love to play in the water. In the sink, I use different cups and watch the way the light hits the water. Sometimes, I like really hot water, so please help me watch out so that I don't hurt myself or anyone else.
I like junk food. My Mom tries and tries to get me to eat healthier food, but I just don’t like the smell or the texture of that food. The somewhat healthy things I like are popcorn, rice cakes, yogurt, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, nuts, corn chex and rice chex. The unhealthy things are ice cream and cookies. (Watch out...I will nab your cookies if they are left out!)
I like animals. I have a dog, named Rascal, who I tolerate. My friend Belinda has a cat. I like to kiss and pet the cat. I spent a lot of time at Belinda’s playing with other kids this summer.
Sometimes transitions can be very hard for me. Beads and music and patience help. I'm not trying to be difficult, just trying to work through things. If I am really angry, singing the alphabet song or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" or counting to ten helps me settle down. It helps me focus on something other than my frustration. (If I take your hands and twist them in diferent directions, I am requesting your rendition of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider".)
I don't like my hair touched, but then again, sometimes I might want you to press on my head. (I tolerate the hair-combing when I absolutely have to! I'm getting better. This summer, I sat in the chair and wore the cape when I got my haircut. My Mom almost cried, and the hairdresser was so pleased!) I am way better at brushing my teeth than I used to be, but trips to the dentist are still pretty rough on me and the dentist. I like to have my arms, hands, legs, and feet rubbed. I might ask you to rub my arms.
I'm very sweet and loving and smart. I have a lot inside me that is just waiting to come out.
As you can tell I could talk forever about Sophie. In fact, I'll be on a panel in October at Siena Heights University, giving the parent's perspective on autism. I'm afraid I won't give anyone else a chance to talk.
Autism...Researchers are stupid!
A friend sent me this message:
Okay... one out of every 150 kids in the U.S. have autism, and they declare the measles vaccine to be absolutely safe because they did a study using 25 kids?????
article
No wonder you're frustrated. It just blows my mind...
Yes, it does blow my mind. It seems to me that researchers are being funded by big pharma companies to disprove any theories that the MMR vaccine affected kids with autism. INSTEAD...why don't they research something that will help my kid?
In my direct experience with researchers, they don't know what they are doing. I would rather spend my time talking to school therapist. The people that work at schools actually care about my kid. I think researchers are probably on the spectrum a bit and cannot see the forest for the trees.
Okay... one out of every 150 kids in the U.S. have autism, and they declare the measles vaccine to be absolutely safe because they did a study using 25 kids?????
article
No wonder you're frustrated. It just blows my mind...
Yes, it does blow my mind. It seems to me that researchers are being funded by big pharma companies to disprove any theories that the MMR vaccine affected kids with autism. INSTEAD...why don't they research something that will help my kid?
In my direct experience with researchers, they don't know what they are doing. I would rather spend my time talking to school therapist. The people that work at schools actually care about my kid. I think researchers are probably on the spectrum a bit and cannot see the forest for the trees.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Notes about want I want to talk about at Savvy Seminar for Autism
Mary Hellner:(class of ’88) of Chelsea, mother of two, one of whom is Autistic. She wears a button on her purse that says “ask me about Autism” so she can bring a wonderful perspective. provide a brief story, or explanation of who you are, what your connection is with Autism and what you bring to the panel discussion. At that time I would like to open it up to the audience for questions. I would ask that each of you bring at least 2-3 of your own “questions” you think would prompt discussion, in case we are looking out at a group of people who might not know just what to ask….
Initial Diagnosis = No one wanted to tell me that it was autism. Doctors didn't. Parents of autistic boy because autism varies so much), she did not think that Sophie had it. Nurse Practitioner that I've known since kindergarten or 1st grade "looked" at me and said that the Mom knows best.
Educational = IEPs...changing schools = just me with about a dozen school staff from 2 different schools. Be nice to school staff. They work with your kid. They know your kid better than stupid researchers.
Emotional = Seek help and support from anyone that you trust.
Check my blog (old and current) for anything that I've mentioned about autism.
You cannot take what others say personally. They are ignorant. Talk about Mrs. Osentoski in the parking lot.
You will not take anything that your kid does for granted.
It's a blessing. It brings your family together. It gives siblings the opportunity to learn patience, compassion, etc. Hannah is the sweetest person I have ever met. I am blessed to have a wonderful support system with my sister, brothers, and their families. I have confidence that if anything happens to me, they will care for Sophie.
See autism wherever I go...someone is on the spectrum.
When I first started working in sales, 3 of the 6 people in my aisle had kids on the spectrum.
Initial Diagnosis = No one wanted to tell me that it was autism. Doctors didn't. Parents of autistic boy because autism varies so much), she did not think that Sophie had it. Nurse Practitioner that I've known since kindergarten or 1st grade "looked" at me and said that the Mom knows best.
Educational = IEPs...changing schools = just me with about a dozen school staff from 2 different schools. Be nice to school staff. They work with your kid. They know your kid better than stupid researchers.
Emotional = Seek help and support from anyone that you trust.
Check my blog (old and current) for anything that I've mentioned about autism.
You cannot take what others say personally. They are ignorant. Talk about Mrs. Osentoski in the parking lot.
You will not take anything that your kid does for granted.
It's a blessing. It brings your family together. It gives siblings the opportunity to learn patience, compassion, etc. Hannah is the sweetest person I have ever met. I am blessed to have a wonderful support system with my sister, brothers, and their families. I have confidence that if anything happens to me, they will care for Sophie.
See autism wherever I go...someone is on the spectrum.
When I first started working in sales, 3 of the 6 people in my aisle had kids on the spectrum.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Mmm...butta
Mmm...Mmm...butta!I'm not exactly sure what Sophie thought this stick of butter was, but my Mother found it like this in her refrigerator.
There was some cheese in the dairy drawer. So, maybe she thought it was a big hunk of cheese, but she doesn't even like big hunks of cheese.
I'm just happy that she came to the conclusion not to eat the whole stick!
Friday, July 18, 2008
Aloof?
Now I am aloof? I absolutely love researchers. Hey, researchers, aloof this (hand gesture)!
New research shows that some parents of autistic children appear to be "socially aloof," providing more evidence that some aspects of autism are hereditary.
http://www.forbes.com/forbeslife/health/feeds/hscout/2008/07/17/hscout617555.html
"We found that some parents who have a child with autism process face information in a subtly, but clearly different way from other parents," Ralph Adolphs, another co-author on the paper and a neuroscientist at the California Institute of Technology, said in the news release. "This is evidence for the hypothesis that the parents with the autistic child have brains that function somewhat differently as well."
Socially aloof...what the heck does that mean? Even if Darren and I look at people's mouths instead of their eyes to process facial cues, would that really make my daughter unable to speak??? Would it really cause all sorts of digestive issues? Would it really cause her low muscle tone and her inability to control her muscles in the typical way? Come the "f" on!
Gee, big surprise...we are all different? Wow, I hope that these researcher made big bucks on that conclusion. Researcher, what is your real goal? Are Pharma companies and the AMA sliding you some cashola under the table to present your findings in a way that is placing "blame" on parents and not on the environmental factors?
Personally, I think that vaccines injured my daughter, but I never "blamed" the doctors. I'm sure that they thought they were doing what was best. But hey, if they cannot admit to the mistake, I don't really give a flying leap.
Researcher, you say that you are looking for a cause so that you can look for a cure? Bull-pucky. After you blame the parents, I never hear anything at all about a cure or anything at all that could help.
I would just like someone to come up with something, anything, to want to help my kid.
New research shows that some parents of autistic children appear to be "socially aloof," providing more evidence that some aspects of autism are hereditary.
http://www.forbes.com/forbeslife/health/feeds/hscout/2008/07/17/hscout617555.html
"We found that some parents who have a child with autism process face information in a subtly, but clearly different way from other parents," Ralph Adolphs, another co-author on the paper and a neuroscientist at the California Institute of Technology, said in the news release. "This is evidence for the hypothesis that the parents with the autistic child have brains that function somewhat differently as well."
Socially aloof...what the heck does that mean? Even if Darren and I look at people's mouths instead of their eyes to process facial cues, would that really make my daughter unable to speak??? Would it really cause all sorts of digestive issues? Would it really cause her low muscle tone and her inability to control her muscles in the typical way? Come the "f" on!
Gee, big surprise...we are all different? Wow, I hope that these researcher made big bucks on that conclusion. Researcher, what is your real goal? Are Pharma companies and the AMA sliding you some cashola under the table to present your findings in a way that is placing "blame" on parents and not on the environmental factors?
Personally, I think that vaccines injured my daughter, but I never "blamed" the doctors. I'm sure that they thought they were doing what was best. But hey, if they cannot admit to the mistake, I don't really give a flying leap.
Researcher, you say that you are looking for a cause so that you can look for a cure? Bull-pucky. After you blame the parents, I never hear anything at all about a cure or anything at all that could help.
I would just like someone to come up with something, anything, to want to help my kid.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Autism...kissin' cousins & back to the refrigerator?
"It also showed that, at least in many of the families studied, autism appears to be caused by the combination of faulty DNA and something in the physical or social environment of an affected child after birth." ~ from "Autism gene search turns up hope for treatment" (Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:41pm EDT - http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1025798120080710)
Oh..this makes me mad. The quote is the 3rd paragraph in the article. If you keep going, you will read that 88 of the 104 families studied had parents who were 1st cousins. What??? I am sorry, but that is not a representative group of typical families in the world. Jeez...Are kissin' cousins really representative? Who sponsored this research...big pharma companies? The vaccine-makers? These researchers should be taken to task for such a ridiculous test group.
Are we really going to go back to the 60s to blame autism on the social environment? Am I to be called a refrigerator Mom? My children have never lacked for affection. If stress during pregnancy causes autism, then my ex-husband can take all the blame. My daughter never lacked for love and affection from me and my family. She has always been loved beyond belief!
Vaccines did it. Vaccines injured her.
Oh..this makes me mad. The quote is the 3rd paragraph in the article. If you keep going, you will read that 88 of the 104 families studied had parents who were 1st cousins. What??? I am sorry, but that is not a representative group of typical families in the world. Jeez...Are kissin' cousins really representative? Who sponsored this research...big pharma companies? The vaccine-makers? These researchers should be taken to task for such a ridiculous test group.
Are we really going to go back to the 60s to blame autism on the social environment? Am I to be called a refrigerator Mom? My children have never lacked for affection. If stress during pregnancy causes autism, then my ex-husband can take all the blame. My daughter never lacked for love and affection from me and my family. She has always been loved beyond belief!
Vaccines did it. Vaccines injured her.
Monday, June 23, 2008
The tooth that almost broke this camel's back
Anyone who knows me knows that taking Sophie to the dentist is hard. Really hard. In the past, she has thrown herself onto the floor, kicked, screamed, cried, anything to protest. I cannot blame her. Not even taking her sensory issues into account, what 9-year-old really likes to have work done at the dentist?
She had an appointment this afternoon for Dr. Ray to take a look at a couple of teeth with small cavities. We talked about the process, the steps, we would take to get into the examining room. Getting kept an hour waiting was probably a blessing in disguise as I went over the steps again and again. This is the basic gist of what I said:
Sophie, when Dr. Ray calls your name, you are going to stand up on your own and follow him to the examining room. Mom will follow you, and Hannah will follow Mom. Then, you will sit in the big chair. When Dr. Ray asks you to open your mouth, you will open your mouth.
She laughed during my instructions, and she even opened her mouth when I asked. So, I knew that she was really listening. Well, this was the best trip to the dentist so far, because...
When Dr. Ray called her name, (she did not stand up of her own accord, but...) she stood up with some gentle pulling from me. Then Dr. Ray and I each grabbed an arm and guided her back to the examining room. (Last time, she threw herself down on the floor in front of the examining room door, and I had to use the special hold to lift her up and literally drag her all the way into the room.) She (didn't so much as sit in the examining chair, but she...) kneeled in the examining chair. I had to help her turn around and sit. (Just a few shorts months ago, she practically toppled me to the floor when we tried to have x-rays taken.) Dr. Ray told her to open her mouth for x-rays, and she did. She still struggled, but she did it. I was so proud of her. My big girl!
Well, the x-rays showed that the cavities had progressed for action. With baby teeth, we opt to pull if the adult tooth is close to coming in. So, after the shot, Dr. Ray prodded and pulled 2 teeth from her upper right side. It wouldn't have been so bad, but a couple of roots ran deep and stubborn. (Deep and stubborn? Must be a family trait! hehe) The whole appointment lasted about 45 minutes. By the root-pulling time, Sophie had had enough and struggled and cried. Keep in mind that during this whole time, I was lying over her hips and holding each hand with each of my hands, and Hannah had been keeping her feet from throwing her weight over the side of the chair. Dr. Ray had her head in a very gentle, but firm grip on her right side, and a hygienist was helping keep her left shoulder down. Somewhere in the midst of the tooth-pulling, another hygienist had come in to help hold her legs.
Finally done! Sophie catapulted off the chair and stood until I told her to sit and relax in the "nice" chair over to the side. I could barely stand after holding her for 45 minutes. Keep in mind that there is a fine balance between restraining her for her safety and possibly hurting her. Not once did I have my weight on her. Anyway, what I had to do was nothing compared to what poor Sophie endured.
Instructions for after tooth-pulling: No crunchy food for 3 hours. What??? No crunchy? Crunchy is one of Sophie's 4 major food groups. Just water and soft foods like yogurt or ice cream. (For some reason, Sophie is off eating yogurt. I'm not happy about that and am trying to figure out why.) We drove to Grandma's house for water. Then, we went to Wendy's for a frosty, but she didn't want it. Hmm? I think she wanted fries or mint-flavored ice cream? We drove around until I thought she seemed in better spirits. We went to Timbertown, and Sophie had a blast. (Hannah's splinter and the two hot dudes with peroxide is a whole other story!)
After 3 hours (yay!), we drove home, where Sophie immediately chowed down on her crunchy food. She was wild. No matter what time we get home, I think that she thinks she gets the same amount of awake time. However, I got her into bed a little after 9 p.m. We did some "talking" with her communication device which made her giggle uncontrollably. To settle her down a bit, I lied down next to her.
She tossed and turned a bit.
She stuck her hand in her mouth.
She rolled over and placed something on the nightstand.
Tooth #3! The tooth that almost broke this camel's back!
My first guilty thought was that she was somehow injured, that by allowing the dentist to work on her, I allowed her tooth to come out. (Dr. Ray is the best dentist. He is so gentle, yet safe. he never yells when Sophie bites him. In no way would he injure her.) However, I was (still am!) exhausted and was slightly shocked.
"Hannah! Sophie just lost another tooth!"
Hannah assured me that it was indeed a baby tooth and probably was due to come out anyway.
What does the Tooth Fairy owe a kid with 2 pulled teeth and 1 regularly-fallen-out tooth? It's a good thing Sophie is so special, because she's getting 1 DVD, and she won't complain!
Is it healthy that I laughed about this instead of cried? Or does that make me somewhat looney?
She had an appointment this afternoon for Dr. Ray to take a look at a couple of teeth with small cavities. We talked about the process, the steps, we would take to get into the examining room. Getting kept an hour waiting was probably a blessing in disguise as I went over the steps again and again. This is the basic gist of what I said:
Sophie, when Dr. Ray calls your name, you are going to stand up on your own and follow him to the examining room. Mom will follow you, and Hannah will follow Mom. Then, you will sit in the big chair. When Dr. Ray asks you to open your mouth, you will open your mouth.
She laughed during my instructions, and she even opened her mouth when I asked. So, I knew that she was really listening. Well, this was the best trip to the dentist so far, because...
When Dr. Ray called her name, (she did not stand up of her own accord, but...) she stood up with some gentle pulling from me. Then Dr. Ray and I each grabbed an arm and guided her back to the examining room. (Last time, she threw herself down on the floor in front of the examining room door, and I had to use the special hold to lift her up and literally drag her all the way into the room.) She (didn't so much as sit in the examining chair, but she...) kneeled in the examining chair. I had to help her turn around and sit. (Just a few shorts months ago, she practically toppled me to the floor when we tried to have x-rays taken.) Dr. Ray told her to open her mouth for x-rays, and she did. She still struggled, but she did it. I was so proud of her. My big girl!
Well, the x-rays showed that the cavities had progressed for action. With baby teeth, we opt to pull if the adult tooth is close to coming in. So, after the shot, Dr. Ray prodded and pulled 2 teeth from her upper right side. It wouldn't have been so bad, but a couple of roots ran deep and stubborn. (Deep and stubborn? Must be a family trait! hehe) The whole appointment lasted about 45 minutes. By the root-pulling time, Sophie had had enough and struggled and cried. Keep in mind that during this whole time, I was lying over her hips and holding each hand with each of my hands, and Hannah had been keeping her feet from throwing her weight over the side of the chair. Dr. Ray had her head in a very gentle, but firm grip on her right side, and a hygienist was helping keep her left shoulder down. Somewhere in the midst of the tooth-pulling, another hygienist had come in to help hold her legs.
Finally done! Sophie catapulted off the chair and stood until I told her to sit and relax in the "nice" chair over to the side. I could barely stand after holding her for 45 minutes. Keep in mind that there is a fine balance between restraining her for her safety and possibly hurting her. Not once did I have my weight on her. Anyway, what I had to do was nothing compared to what poor Sophie endured.
Instructions for after tooth-pulling: No crunchy food for 3 hours. What??? No crunchy? Crunchy is one of Sophie's 4 major food groups. Just water and soft foods like yogurt or ice cream. (For some reason, Sophie is off eating yogurt. I'm not happy about that and am trying to figure out why.) We drove to Grandma's house for water. Then, we went to Wendy's for a frosty, but she didn't want it. Hmm? I think she wanted fries or mint-flavored ice cream? We drove around until I thought she seemed in better spirits. We went to Timbertown, and Sophie had a blast. (Hannah's splinter and the two hot dudes with peroxide is a whole other story!)
After 3 hours (yay!), we drove home, where Sophie immediately chowed down on her crunchy food. She was wild. No matter what time we get home, I think that she thinks she gets the same amount of awake time. However, I got her into bed a little after 9 p.m. We did some "talking" with her communication device which made her giggle uncontrollably. To settle her down a bit, I lied down next to her.
She tossed and turned a bit.
She stuck her hand in her mouth.
She rolled over and placed something on the nightstand.
Tooth #3! The tooth that almost broke this camel's back!
My first guilty thought was that she was somehow injured, that by allowing the dentist to work on her, I allowed her tooth to come out. (Dr. Ray is the best dentist. He is so gentle, yet safe. he never yells when Sophie bites him. In no way would he injure her.) However, I was (still am!) exhausted and was slightly shocked.
"Hannah! Sophie just lost another tooth!"
Hannah assured me that it was indeed a baby tooth and probably was due to come out anyway.
What does the Tooth Fairy owe a kid with 2 pulled teeth and 1 regularly-fallen-out tooth? It's a good thing Sophie is so special, because she's getting 1 DVD, and she won't complain!
Is it healthy that I laughed about this instead of cried? Or does that make me somewhat looney?
Saturday, May 24, 2008
How a brain functions...autism?
Jill Bolte Taylor got a research opportunity few brain scientists would wish for: She had a massive stroke, and watched as her brain functions -- motion, speech, self-awareness –- shut down one by one. An astonishing story.
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229
(available at www.TED.com)
I've watched this video two times already today, and I'll probably watch it several more times. My brother Greg sent the link to me. Sometimes, he sends me scary and weird things, but this one is a gem. I started to watch it and called my 13-year-old into the room to watch it with me. I asked my Mother to watch it. (I think she was slightly skeptical and that it made her sad.) I sent the link to some family/friends and to teachers of my 9-year-old daughter who has autism.
My intent was to show a glimpse into my daughter's head. Here, in the video, an educated adult explains how hard it is to think when there's been a trauma to your brain (in the scientist's case, a stroke; in Sophie's case, vaccine damage). She also explains vividly how each hemisphere thinks differently.
I think that my autie-girl thinks in some of those same ways.
Even though I shared the link with others, the video is still in my head. I just really needed to pick it apart and talk more about it. So, I'm watching it again, and making notes here. My comments in italics.
Jill the scientist's interest stemmed from her brother's schizophrenia. She said that he could not connect his dream into reality.
People say that autistics live in their own worlds.
Jill says that the two sides of the brain are completely separate, but communicate. They process things differently; they have different personalities.
Autistics process ideas differently than non-autistics.
The right hemisphere is about right here and now. It learns through our bodies, movement, energy. Our senses!
Sophie learns best by doing, not being being told how to do something. She wants things now, when she wants them. Patience was not easy, but she has learned to have some.
The left hemisphere thinks linearly, about the past and the future. It takes the collage of the present moment and organizes it.
Sophie needs time to process and organize all those floating details.
The left side thinks in language.
Sophie thinks in pictures.
It's the voice that says I am separate from the world and others in it.
Sophie thinks that we are here to serve her, that we should know what she wants, what she is thinking.
Jill describes the way that she viewed her body during the beginning of her stroke. Her reality had shifted that she was part of some larger space, that she is moving in slow motion, that she lost her balance, that she cannot define the boundaries of her body. Her body was blended with inanimate space.
Sophie does not have good control over her large motor skills or her fine motor skills. She is strong, but does not know her own strength. (I think that Bambam from the Flintstones was autistic.) She can run fast, but might stumble. It's taken years, but she can use scissors. She cannot color within the lines though.
Jill was, at one point, in her silent mind, but was captivated by the energy around her.
Sophie loves the world around, maybe because she sees herself as part of it, a fast car ride on a sunny day filled with shadows, a blustery day of leaves twirling and twittering, the chaos of books, movies, toys, blankets, scarves scattered haphazardly about her room, and her favorite... the twirl and glimmer of beads as they extend from her hand in the most creative and natural way.
Jill said the right side sees/feels euphorically.
Autistics sometimes laugh and giggle and get excited for no apparent reason that a non-autistic can detect.
It Jill 45 minutes to figure out how to call her office for help.
Autistics need time to process.
When Jill woke up at the hospital, her sensory system was overloaded. Light burned her eyes. Sounds were so loud that she could not pick out a specific voice. She couldn't identify her body in the space.
I think that sometimes, Sophie becomes overloaded. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. She covers her ears. She consistently requests that I rub her arms and legs. Maybe so she knows where they are?
Thinking with the right side is peaceful.
Autistics do not lie or cheat.
If you could choose how your brain functioned, which side would be dominant?
http://www.ted.com/talks/view/id/229
(available at www.TED.com)
I've watched this video two times already today, and I'll probably watch it several more times. My brother Greg sent the link to me. Sometimes, he sends me scary and weird things, but this one is a gem. I started to watch it and called my 13-year-old into the room to watch it with me. I asked my Mother to watch it. (I think she was slightly skeptical and that it made her sad.) I sent the link to some family/friends and to teachers of my 9-year-old daughter who has autism.
My intent was to show a glimpse into my daughter's head. Here, in the video, an educated adult explains how hard it is to think when there's been a trauma to your brain (in the scientist's case, a stroke; in Sophie's case, vaccine damage). She also explains vividly how each hemisphere thinks differently.
I think that my autie-girl thinks in some of those same ways.
Even though I shared the link with others, the video is still in my head. I just really needed to pick it apart and talk more about it. So, I'm watching it again, and making notes here. My comments in italics.
Jill the scientist's interest stemmed from her brother's schizophrenia. She said that he could not connect his dream into reality.
People say that autistics live in their own worlds.
Jill says that the two sides of the brain are completely separate, but communicate. They process things differently; they have different personalities.
Autistics process ideas differently than non-autistics.
The right hemisphere is about right here and now. It learns through our bodies, movement, energy. Our senses!
Sophie learns best by doing, not being being told how to do something. She wants things now, when she wants them. Patience was not easy, but she has learned to have some.
The left hemisphere thinks linearly, about the past and the future. It takes the collage of the present moment and organizes it.
Sophie needs time to process and organize all those floating details.
The left side thinks in language.
Sophie thinks in pictures.
It's the voice that says I am separate from the world and others in it.
Sophie thinks that we are here to serve her, that we should know what she wants, what she is thinking.
Jill describes the way that she viewed her body during the beginning of her stroke. Her reality had shifted that she was part of some larger space, that she is moving in slow motion, that she lost her balance, that she cannot define the boundaries of her body. Her body was blended with inanimate space.
Sophie does not have good control over her large motor skills or her fine motor skills. She is strong, but does not know her own strength. (I think that Bambam from the Flintstones was autistic.) She can run fast, but might stumble. It's taken years, but she can use scissors. She cannot color within the lines though.
Jill was, at one point, in her silent mind, but was captivated by the energy around her.
Sophie loves the world around, maybe because she sees herself as part of it, a fast car ride on a sunny day filled with shadows, a blustery day of leaves twirling and twittering, the chaos of books, movies, toys, blankets, scarves scattered haphazardly about her room, and her favorite... the twirl and glimmer of beads as they extend from her hand in the most creative and natural way.
Jill said the right side sees/feels euphorically.
Autistics sometimes laugh and giggle and get excited for no apparent reason that a non-autistic can detect.
It Jill 45 minutes to figure out how to call her office for help.
Autistics need time to process.
When Jill woke up at the hospital, her sensory system was overloaded. Light burned her eyes. Sounds were so loud that she could not pick out a specific voice. She couldn't identify her body in the space.
I think that sometimes, Sophie becomes overloaded. She squeezed her eyes shut tight. She covers her ears. She consistently requests that I rub her arms and legs. Maybe so she knows where they are?
Thinking with the right side is peaceful.
Autistics do not lie or cheat.
If you could choose how your brain functioned, which side would be dominant?
Monday, May 5, 2008
Alternate Universe...who is that girl who looks like Sophie?
Have you heard my troubles in trying to get Sophie to have better hygiene habits? It's been a long time of tricking and kicking and screaming into the shower, running from the bathroom when the toothbrush comes out, and absolutely refusing to get a haircut. (People with autism has extreme sensory issues. For example, I think that her hair actually hurts her scalp at times.)
Tonight, she walked into the bathroom, knowing that that she would take a shower. She walked in. She walked. I didn't have to drag her. It wasn't a fight. She walked in and lifted up her arms to get her shirt off. She still complained and held her hands to her ears, but those feet were playing, kicking at the water. No crying.
I trimmed her bangs. The last time the hairdresser cut her hair, she cried, big alligator, sad tears. When I got the scissors out, she politely refused, but then I asked again. I didn't do a great job. The last time I did it, I did better, but at least she can see without tilting her head back. The hairdresser can fix it at the end of the month. She just stood there and looked at me under those long bangs. No crying.
And then, when I said, "Let's brush teeth." She got out of bed and walked right into the bathroom. She patiently waited for me to get the toothbrush. I brushed for her for a minute, and then I asked her to do it. She tried and did a great job for her. She used to make such faces when I tried to bruch her teeth. She would clench her mouth shut, and yes even cry. Tonight, no crying.
(Okay, she ran from the nail clippers. Maybe I was pushing it? 3 out of 4 is great!) I just keep thinking about how difficult she made those things before. If she made them difficult, they must have been so very difficult for her. They must have felt so weird or actually hurt her. Maybe my prayers are being answered. I just can't stand to see her hurting, to see her crying. Tonight, it was better for her. No crying.
I think I am going to cry. Yep, I am. Crying.
Tonight, she walked into the bathroom, knowing that that she would take a shower. She walked in. She walked. I didn't have to drag her. It wasn't a fight. She walked in and lifted up her arms to get her shirt off. She still complained and held her hands to her ears, but those feet were playing, kicking at the water. No crying.
I trimmed her bangs. The last time the hairdresser cut her hair, she cried, big alligator, sad tears. When I got the scissors out, she politely refused, but then I asked again. I didn't do a great job. The last time I did it, I did better, but at least she can see without tilting her head back. The hairdresser can fix it at the end of the month. She just stood there and looked at me under those long bangs. No crying.
And then, when I said, "Let's brush teeth." She got out of bed and walked right into the bathroom. She patiently waited for me to get the toothbrush. I brushed for her for a minute, and then I asked her to do it. She tried and did a great job for her. She used to make such faces when I tried to bruch her teeth. She would clench her mouth shut, and yes even cry. Tonight, no crying.
(Okay, she ran from the nail clippers. Maybe I was pushing it? 3 out of 4 is great!) I just keep thinking about how difficult she made those things before. If she made them difficult, they must have been so very difficult for her. They must have felt so weird or actually hurt her. Maybe my prayers are being answered. I just can't stand to see her hurting, to see her crying. Tonight, it was better for her. No crying.
I think I am going to cry. Yep, I am. Crying.
Friday, April 4, 2008
Being Blessed by Autism
Yes, I am blessed. Autism has blessed my family. Would I be extremely happy if my daughter could speak and eat healthier and have fewer sensory issues? Of course. However, I am very blessed to have her in my life. Her innocence, her sweetness! Everyone who really knows her loves her. She is special in many ways.
One way...Sophie's Aide...In the Spring of her 1st grade year, the woman who spent all school day with Sophie was injured by a drunken semi-truck driver. This woman's legs were cut off above the knee. When her Aide returned to the school to work the following fall, she was in a wheel chair. Sophie walked up to her, kicked her leg out at the open area where her Aide's legs should have been, and then proceeded to crawl up on her Aide's lap. What was Sophie saying? Yeah, I notice that you are different now, but I still like you anyway.
Another way...My older typical daughter spent the night at a friend's house. When I picked her up the following morning, she said, "They are like the perfect family. It was creepy!" What did she mean? Dad is the sole financial provider. Mom is a Stay-at-home-Mom. One daughter. One brother. One purebred dog. They ate dinner while sitting at the table! Spotless house. Uh...yeah, nice, but not like us. We are Deadbeat Dad, Single Working Mom, one typical daughter, one special needs daughter, one mutt. That table in the dining room is for sitting and eating a meal together? Who knew? And most specifically...the house is a mess. I asked my older daughter if she knew that most houses did not have bits of ricecakes and popcorn scattered about the floor and table and counter, etc.? What's more important perfection through control or a loving, caring, accepting attitude? A child with special needs answers that question.
And another...adversity through a child brings family together. I know without a doubt that my Mother (and Father, if he were still alive), my Siblings and their children, and even extended family members hope and dream and do whatever they can for my girl! That's a good feeling!
A child is not a burden. A child is a gift. A special child is a special gift.
We have been very fortunate.
One way...Sophie's Aide...In the Spring of her 1st grade year, the woman who spent all school day with Sophie was injured by a drunken semi-truck driver. This woman's legs were cut off above the knee. When her Aide returned to the school to work the following fall, she was in a wheel chair. Sophie walked up to her, kicked her leg out at the open area where her Aide's legs should have been, and then proceeded to crawl up on her Aide's lap. What was Sophie saying? Yeah, I notice that you are different now, but I still like you anyway.
Another way...My older typical daughter spent the night at a friend's house. When I picked her up the following morning, she said, "They are like the perfect family. It was creepy!" What did she mean? Dad is the sole financial provider. Mom is a Stay-at-home-Mom. One daughter. One brother. One purebred dog. They ate dinner while sitting at the table! Spotless house. Uh...yeah, nice, but not like us. We are Deadbeat Dad, Single Working Mom, one typical daughter, one special needs daughter, one mutt. That table in the dining room is for sitting and eating a meal together? Who knew? And most specifically...the house is a mess. I asked my older daughter if she knew that most houses did not have bits of ricecakes and popcorn scattered about the floor and table and counter, etc.? What's more important perfection through control or a loving, caring, accepting attitude? A child with special needs answers that question.
And another...adversity through a child brings family together. I know without a doubt that my Mother (and Father, if he were still alive), my Siblings and their children, and even extended family members hope and dream and do whatever they can for my girl! That's a good feeling!
A child is not a burden. A child is a gift. A special child is a special gift.
We have been very fortunate.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Autism and Vaccines
I don't usually blog too much about autism. I live it every day. So, when I write, I write to escape. However, a friend of mine asked me about vaccines and autism. Here is my reply...
Never get "caught up" on vaccines. Do not even follow the schedule. I tell my friends to have one shot at a time done on their babies.
Both my girls had multiple shots done at once. I trusted the doctor and the medical industry. Bad idea. In my gut, it felt wrong. I should have known it was stupid.
Why, oh why, would anyone choose to give a kid all of those diseases at once? That's what's happening! Can a body handle a little bit of polio, diphtheria, measles, and others all at once? Hell no! It's common sense. Take it slow. One shot at a time. Let the kid recover. If the baby does have a reaction, how would the doctors know from which shot? We take our time and introduce one new food at a time, but we inject them with terrible diseases all at once? Common sense says no. Do not let the doctors shame you into anything.
The medical community means well, but they are brainwashed into thinking whatever is commonly taught. Do I think that the doctor who administered the 4 vaccines at once into Sophie wanted to harm her? No. I think that the doctor was trying to keep her safe, but the doctor was misinformed and passed that misinformation along to me.
Do I think that the medical industry needs to change their tune about vaccines? Yes! I use the word industry, because it's the businesspeople running the big pharmacy companies who are lobbying and persuading and buying the idiots who announce that vaccines are safe for all in the way that they are recommending.
The medical community needs to promote one shot at a time. Will it be inconvenient for parents to take their kids to the doctors more often? Yes. Will doctors be busier than they already are? Yes. Will insurance companies be happy? No. Is the inconvenience to parents and doctors worth it? YES!
I live it. I live everyday wanting and wishing and hoping and having faith and expecting miracles that my baby girl will talk to me, that she'll be able to care for herself one day, that she'll be able to let the world know what she's thinking and feeling. And now my heart is breaking with each tear I cry for her, for me, for anyone who knows and loves a child with autism.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Humpty Dumpty...back on the wall?
Sometimes, I feel like Humpty Dumpty. I get up on the wall. I fall. The king's things cannot put me back together, but I put myself back together and climb back up on the wall. Lo and behold...someone or something knocks me down again. What holds me together is that I keep getting back up. Since I've gotten back up before, I know that I'll do it again...climb back up. Even though things happen that I knew would happen and wished wouldn't happen for a long time, they happen and knock me out.
What, you ask? Well, that I am reading nursery rhymes (Humpty Dumpty is one) to my 9-year-old daughter and her Aunt Flo. Autism sometimes adds a layer of stress that makes climbing the wall a slippery slope.
What, you ask? Well, that I am reading nursery rhymes (Humpty Dumpty is one) to my 9-year-old daughter and her Aunt Flo. Autism sometimes adds a layer of stress that makes climbing the wall a slippery slope.
Friday, November 30, 2007
Wacky "If You Could" questions:
Wacky "If You Could" questions:
1) If you could time-travel, and go back to any particular time/place in history, what would it be? I'd like to keep hopping back each generation and check out my family.
2) If you could go back and relive any time in your life, what would it be? High school...I was so, so stupid. I would have enjoyed more all the fun things that I did, and I wouldn't have worried so much about boys and what others thought.
3) If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be? I would be more muscular...stronger!
4) If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would it be? I would have my own foundation and give money away! If I had to work, then I would be an architect or a writer.
5) If you could only read one book over and over again in your life, what one book would that be? Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
6) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? My hometown! There's nowhere else to live. But...I would get out of town and back into the country.
7) If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your days, what outfit would that be? Jeans, white v-neck tee, white cotton socks, and cute sneakers.
8) If you could have dinner with any one person (dead or alive) -- anyone -- who would it be? Pope John Paul II
9) If you could ask for any talent or skill and instantly receive it, what talent would that be? I could read minds (so that I knew what wonderful thoughts that my non-verbal daughter is thinking!)
10) If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? A knight in shining armor would be in my life.
11) If you could name your biggest regret, what would that be? Procrastination...can that be a regret?
12) If you could have exactly one million dollars right now in your hands, what would you do with it? $400K for a home in the country. A new car for me, therapy for Sophie, and a Jonas Brothers concert for Hannah! I would save, invest, donate, and share the rest.
13) If you could fix one major world problem on this Earth, what would you fix? Autism
1) If you could time-travel, and go back to any particular time/place in history, what would it be? I'd like to keep hopping back each generation and check out my family.
2) If you could go back and relive any time in your life, what would it be? High school...I was so, so stupid. I would have enjoyed more all the fun things that I did, and I wouldn't have worried so much about boys and what others thought.
3) If you could change one thing about your body, what would it be? I would be more muscular...stronger!
4) If you could do anything in the world for a living, what would it be? I would have my own foundation and give money away! If I had to work, then I would be an architect or a writer.
5) If you could only read one book over and over again in your life, what one book would that be? Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice
6) If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be? My hometown! There's nowhere else to live. But...I would get out of town and back into the country.
7) If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your days, what outfit would that be? Jeans, white v-neck tee, white cotton socks, and cute sneakers.
8) If you could have dinner with any one person (dead or alive) -- anyone -- who would it be? Pope John Paul II
9) If you could ask for any talent or skill and instantly receive it, what talent would that be? I could read minds (so that I knew what wonderful thoughts that my non-verbal daughter is thinking!)
10) If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be? A knight in shining armor would be in my life.
11) If you could name your biggest regret, what would that be? Procrastination...can that be a regret?
12) If you could have exactly one million dollars right now in your hands, what would you do with it? $400K for a home in the country. A new car for me, therapy for Sophie, and a Jonas Brothers concert for Hannah! I would save, invest, donate, and share the rest.
13) If you could fix one major world problem on this Earth, what would you fix? Autism
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