Autism...letter to teachers

I just wanted to thank you all in advance for everything you'll be doing for and with Sophie this school year! I'm so excited that she's had a good first few days and expect the goodness to continue all year.

If you have any suggestions, I'm more than willing to listen. Your suggestion might be something I've thought about, but accidentally zoomed by without addressing or trying. (The mind of a parent of a special needs child goes 100 mph.)

Also, if you have any questions or concerns about Sophie, please let me know. All my phone numbers are below, or please email. Whatever works for you.

In lieu of filling out the forms that Mrs. Hamilton sent home, I've written a bit here about Sophie (from her perspective) for those who don't know her all that well yet!

My name is Sophie Lash. I am 9 years old...almost 10!

I live with my Mom and my sister Hannah...right across the street from South Meadows. My Dad lives near Lansing, and he comes to see me and my sister once or twice a month, but he really doesn't spend a lot of time with me. I have a Grandma who lives in Chelsea. I get off the bus at Grandma's house. I have 2 Uncles who I get to see a bunch. You will see Uncle John when my Mom goes to California (January 11-15). As much as I like school, I really like to be with Grandma, but Uncle John will help me get to school on those days. I also have an Aunt, Uncle, and 2 cousins in Kansas. I also have a Great Uncle who is 95 years old. You'll see them all on my Dynavox!

A most noticeable thing about me is that I don’t talk yet. My mom hopes that I will someday, but for now, I use pictures and the Dynavox to tell what I want. I can also get my point across in other ways. Can you imagine how hard it is to communicate without being able to talk? When I get really mad, I sometimes say Mom or No. When you least expect it, a word might just slip out.

I am very strong and fast, if I want to be. Sometimes, I move as slow as a snail.

I like to watch movies with lots of music and dancing. I like watching the Wiggles, Bear in the Big Blue House, Barney (sometimes on youtube.com). I like Kidsongs videos too. Once in a while, I like more grown-up movies like Shrek, Stuart Little, and Annie.

I like music a lot. I go to music therapy once a week with Mr. Mike in Ann Arbor. For this school year, it will be on Thursdays at 6 p.m. Did you know that people hear music with a different part of their brain than they hear talking? It’s easier for me to understand music or singing. So, sometimes when I am not in a good mood or paying attention, I listen to music, and it makes me feel better. Singing what you want to tell me gets me to understand a little better too. I love my ipod!

I like toys. I like little toys. (You might call them manipulatives.) I love my beads. If I am mad and need to calm down, please give me my beads. I like to flutter little toys or beads. Besides really liking that visual stimulation, I am the champion bead-twirler of the universe.

I like puzzles. I am really good at putting puzzles together. I like the alphabet and numbers and maps. I like the calendar.

I like any group of things that I can look at and study and then display the way that I want. My Mom says that I am an artist of installation pieces. I like to create pretty displays that take up the whole room!

I love to play in the water. In the sink, I use different cups and watch the way the light hits the water. Sometimes, I like really hot water, so please help me watch out so that I don't hurt myself or anyone else.

I like junk food. My Mom tries and tries to get me to eat healthier food, but I just don’t like the smell or the texture of that food. The somewhat healthy things I like are popcorn, rice cakes, yogurt, sunflower seeds, pumpkin seeds, nuts, corn chex and rice chex. The unhealthy things are ice cream and cookies. (Watch out...I will nab your cookies if they are left out!)

I like animals. I have a dog, named Rascal, who I tolerate. My friend Belinda has a cat. I like to kiss and pet the cat. I spent a lot of time at Belinda’s playing with other kids this summer.

Sometimes transitions can be very hard for me. Beads and music and patience help. I'm not trying to be difficult, just trying to work through things. If I am really angry, singing the alphabet song or "Itsy-Bitsy Spider" or counting to ten helps me settle down. It helps me focus on something other than my frustration. (If I take your hands and twist them in diferent directions, I am requesting your rendition of "Itsy-Bitsy Spider".)

I don't like my hair touched, but then again, sometimes I might want you to press on my head. (I tolerate the hair-combing when I absolutely have to! I'm getting better. This summer, I sat in the chair and wore the cape when I got my haircut. My Mom almost cried, and the hairdresser was so pleased!) I am way better at brushing my teeth than I used to be, but trips to the dentist are still pretty rough on me and the dentist. I like to have my arms, hands, legs, and feet rubbed. I might ask you to rub my arms.

I'm very sweet and loving and smart. I have a lot inside me that is just waiting to come out.

As you can tell I could talk forever about Sophie. In fact, I'll be on a panel in October at Siena Heights University, giving the parent's perspective on autism. I'm afraid I won't give anyone else a chance to talk.

Shock and aWedding

Darren made a huge mistake by not inviting Hannah to his wedding and not telling her about it until a week later. When he did tell her, he described it as this beautiful, intimate, family affair, which is lovely for all who were involved. When he was speaking, I could see her heart breaking. He could not have hurt her more if he had pushed her down and stomped on her. After 10 years of first abandonment and then disinterest, Hannah has had enough of him, at least for now. She's in some formative years, and she's very smart. I cannot cover for his deficiencies in the dad department anymore, because she sees through the excuses that I create for her benefit. She sent Darren an email asking him not to contact her for a while.

I've been nothing but accommodating to Darren where the girls are involved. Even after he took me to Friend of the Court to get his child support reduced and the Court Referee came back with a decision to raise it, I didn't have it raised because I did not want to make it harder for him to visit, for the sake of the girls, for Hannah really. If Darren had told Hannah about his plans to marry, I would have made arrangements to get Hannah to the wedding. Darren offered to take Hannah to meet Kim, but Hannah is sensitive to her sister and feels that meeting her means to meet Sophie too, which would mean a trip here, which would have been absolutely fine with me.

Hannah is a smart and sensitive young lady. Darren's exclusion of her from such an important event is his life really hurt her.

Autism...kissin' cousins & back to the refrigerator?

"It also showed that, at least in many of the families studied, autism appears to be caused by the combination of faulty DNA and something in the physical or social environment of an affected child after birth." ~ from "Autism gene search turns up hope for treatment" (Thu Jul 10, 2008 3:41pm EDT - http://www.reuters.com/article/healthNews/idUSN1025798120080710)

Oh..this makes me mad. The quote is the 3rd paragraph in the article. If you keep going, you will read that 88 of the 104 families studied had parents who were 1st cousins. What??? I am sorry, but that is not a representative group of typical families in the world. Jeez...Are kissin' cousins really representative? Who sponsored this research...big pharma companies? The vaccine-makers? These researchers should be taken to task for such a ridiculous test group.

Are we really going to go back to the 60s to blame autism on the social environment? Am I to be called a refrigerator Mom? My children have never lacked for affection. If stress during pregnancy causes autism, then my ex-husband can take all the blame. My daughter never lacked for love and affection from me and my family. She has always been loved beyond belief!

Vaccines did it. Vaccines injured her.

Hannah's Narrative Poem

Hannah needed to write a narrative poem for English class - due tomorrow. I'm so proud of her! Here it is...(If you'd like an oral rendition, I'd be happy to give a reading as her proxy.)

Mother is on the phone.
Grandmother is there.
Mother is crying.
The girl is where?

The girl is upstairs
In her parents’ room.
Grandmother finds the girl.
In a sad gloom.

The girl wants her blanket.
She tells her Grandmother.
Grandmother says to wait.
Not to bother.

Grandmother doesn’t understand.
The girl was just making it up
To go and see her Mother.
Just to see what’s up.

Again, the girl said
She wanted her blanket;
That Grandmother could stay there,
And the girl would go and get it.

Grandma went instead.
And the girl followed.
Where she learned
Her Dad is dead.

Not really dead,
But only gone.
No longer coming home,
But out with Dawn.

Years passed
and time flew.
Life is better!
Who knew?

And the really funny thing is...when she was in the middle of the 7th stanza, she was trying to think of something that rhymed with gone. So, we started rhyming, and she said, Dawn. I burst out laughing. Dawn really is the name of the proverbial other woman! I am still laughing!

unfinished sentences...

Here are my words to Maria's unfinished sentences...

I've come to realize my ex is: a selfish bore who is more concerned with himself than with our children. That's my problem only in the way that it affects my beautiful children. He is the one missing out on all the wonder and beauty and fun of them.

I talk: way more now than I ever did as a kid. My friends say I never spoke until junior high. I was painfully shy.

I love: completely.

I lost: myself and then was found. I had a friend who said that in Paris. Oh wait, that was Julia Ormond who said that in the movie Sabrina. I think we all lose ourselves some time, but we come out of the coccoon like a beautiful butterfly. Hold on...that one's from A Bug's Life.

I hate it when: people (including me) are stupid.

Love is: all around. awesome. true.

Marriage was: not what it was supposed to be. Marriage could be: wonderful.

I'll always be: me.

My cell phone is: my lifeline to be family.

When I wake up in the morning: I let the dog out. Let's see...I let him out at 1:00 a.m. and then at 1:30 a.m. and then at 4:00 a.m. and then at 5:00 a.m. Bad Rascal! (Bad night for Rascal, usually, just once when I get up.)

Before I go to sleep at night: I make my kids go to sleep.

Right now I am thinking about: everything! Everything I need to do today and everything I should have done already.

Babies are: always my babies, no matter how old they are.

I get on MySpace: never.

Today I Will: do the best that I can.

Tonight I: will Sophie to music therapy and then work on Christmas cards.

Tomorrow I will: do the best that I can.

I really want to: get married to a wonderful man and move into the country and have a barn full of animals so that my children and I can breathe. (We currently breathe, but in the previous sentence, breathing is symbolic for a simpler, sweeter life.)

The person who is most likely to repost this: ???

7 Random Facts about me, because my friend tagged me

1. My favorite color is orange. Studies show that looking at the color orange actually makes you happy. I painted my back door orange so that every night when I come home I leave my cares outside and "c'mon, get happy".
2. If I could get away with it, I'd wear the same basic outfit every single day. White knit v-neck tee, denim, white sneakers. I happen to have that on right now. I love my Friday outfit!
3. When I was little, I wanted to be an architect. I used to spend hours designing my dream home.
4. My confirmation name is Claudia. I wanted a name that started with "C" so that my initials spelled, "MUCH". And at the time, I was reading a book titled, "Claudia".
5. Although I don't get cable tv or even the local channels, I'm a "closet-watcher". I watch a couple of shows online late at night when I cannot sleep.
6. My ex-husband thinks that I am a competitive control freak. Hmm...I wonder what I think he is.
7. I'm very boring and cannot think of 7 random facts.