Dreaming about work? or at work?

I had a dream. It seemed to last all night long. I kept thinking to myself. This is a dream...I wish it would change gears and get better. Anyway, Doug in Facilities took away my nice, big, 3-drawer file cabinet and replaced it with this really beat-up 2-drawer thing that barely opened up for about 10 files to fit. I guess this goes along with my last posting. I just don't feel like the company is giving me what I need to succeed. I kept trying to get them to give me back the nice cabinet. I went looking for it. I asked others to help me look for it, but they left me hanging.

And then it was storming - raining, blowing, snowing - at work, in the building. Not so much symbolic, as the actual temperature in the actual building. (Right now, I'm wearing a jacket and am covered up with a blanket.) Why they think shivering is conducive to productivity is beyond me?

It was so nice to work in a nice temperature on Monday from home. My shoulders weren't all hunched up at the end of the day. Yesterday, I went out at lunch, mainly because others were driving me insane with their constant chatter. However, it gave me a chance to warm up. How nice, not to be frozen to the core! Anyway, I'll have to find something to do during my lunch hours. I cannot go out to eat every day, because my body cannot handle that. I cannot go out shopping every day, because my wallet cannot handle that. Too bad there's no hot dude I can meet on my lunch hour! Now, that would make me dream AT work, instead of dreaming ABOUT work. That would be way better!

Am I really cut out for sales?

I am so ready to cry.

I work my booty off. I am busy. I am nice to my customers. I get things done. Nothing comes from it. Not even mentioning co-workers who stand around and chat all freaking day long. Not just comments here and there. They chatter all day long. And then they ring the freaking bell...order in!

I keep explaining what I need so that I can be successful. It's just not happening. I am being set up for failure. Why?

Brrr...$99 is better than $1,000

I worked from home today. Why? My refrigerator went ka-pooey on Saturday night. Everything was ruined. I threw away 3 bags of food from the frig. The bags weren't jam-packed full, but food is heavy even before it goes to my hips. Who knew?

Anyway, the frig was warm when I woke up on Sunday morning. I was told that the freezer should be okay, but by mid-afternoon, I discovered mushy popsicles. I cooked a bunch of stuff that I thought Sophie might eat. Nope...having none of it. She asked me for chicken strips and tater tots all day on Saturday (breakfast, lunch, dinner and every snack) and for Sunday breakfast. When I made boxes of chicken and bags of tots, she didn't want any of it. My stay-out-until-midnight-girl was napping and couldn't help me eat anything I cooked up. So, I pigged out until I felt sick.

I didn't like the frozen veggie lasagna or the oven reds, but I loved the gluten-free waffles and sweet potato fries. So, when restocking, I will definitely buy with that in mind.

So, what was wrong with the refrigerator, you ask? What cost me $99 for a service call?



A broken screw!

(Better than $1,000 for a new frig though, which is what a replacement would have cost.)

The tooth that almost broke this camel's back

Anyone who knows me knows that taking Sophie to the dentist is hard. Really hard. In the past, she has thrown herself onto the floor, kicked, screamed, cried, anything to protest. I cannot blame her. Not even taking her sensory issues into account, what 9-year-old really likes to have work done at the dentist?

She had an appointment this afternoon for Dr. Ray to take a look at a couple of teeth with small cavities. We talked about the process, the steps, we would take to get into the examining room. Getting kept an hour waiting was probably a blessing in disguise as I went over the steps again and again. This is the basic gist of what I said:

Sophie, when Dr. Ray calls your name, you are going to stand up on your own and follow him to the examining room. Mom will follow you, and Hannah will follow Mom. Then, you will sit in the big chair. When Dr. Ray asks you to open your mouth, you will open your mouth.

She laughed during my instructions, and she even opened her mouth when I asked. So, I knew that she was really listening. Well, this was the best trip to the dentist so far, because...

When Dr. Ray called her name, (she did not stand up of her own accord, but...) she stood up with some gentle pulling from me. Then Dr. Ray and I each grabbed an arm and guided her back to the examining room. (Last time, she threw herself down on the floor in front of the examining room door, and I had to use the special hold to lift her up and literally drag her all the way into the room.) She (didn't so much as sit in the examining chair, but she...) kneeled in the examining chair. I had to help her turn around and sit. (Just a few shorts months ago, she practically toppled me to the floor when we tried to have x-rays taken.) Dr. Ray told her to open her mouth for x-rays, and she did. She still struggled, but she did it. I was so proud of her. My big girl!

Well, the x-rays showed that the cavities had progressed for action. With baby teeth, we opt to pull if the adult tooth is close to coming in. So, after the shot, Dr. Ray prodded and pulled 2 teeth from her upper right side. It wouldn't have been so bad, but a couple of roots ran deep and stubborn. (Deep and stubborn? Must be a family trait! hehe) The whole appointment lasted about 45 minutes. By the root-pulling time, Sophie had had enough and struggled and cried. Keep in mind that during this whole time, I was lying over her hips and holding each hand with each of my hands, and Hannah had been keeping her feet from throwing her weight over the side of the chair. Dr. Ray had her head in a very gentle, but firm grip on her right side, and a hygienist was helping keep her left shoulder down. Somewhere in the midst of the tooth-pulling, another hygienist had come in to help hold her legs.

Finally done! Sophie catapulted off the chair and stood until I told her to sit and relax in the "nice" chair over to the side. I could barely stand after holding her for 45 minutes. Keep in mind that there is a fine balance between restraining her for her safety and possibly hurting her. Not once did I have my weight on her. Anyway, what I had to do was nothing compared to what poor Sophie endured.

Instructions for after tooth-pulling: No crunchy food for 3 hours. What??? No crunchy? Crunchy is one of Sophie's 4 major food groups. Just water and soft foods like yogurt or ice cream. (For some reason, Sophie is off eating yogurt. I'm not happy about that and am trying to figure out why.) We drove to Grandma's house for water. Then, we went to Wendy's for a frosty, but she didn't want it. Hmm? I think she wanted fries or mint-flavored ice cream? We drove around until I thought she seemed in better spirits. We went to Timbertown, and Sophie had a blast. (Hannah's splinter and the two hot dudes with peroxide is a whole other story!)

After 3 hours (yay!), we drove home, where Sophie immediately chowed down on her crunchy food. She was wild. No matter what time we get home, I think that she thinks she gets the same amount of awake time. However, I got her into bed a little after 9 p.m. We did some "talking" with her communication device which made her giggle uncontrollably. To settle her down a bit, I lied down next to her.

She tossed and turned a bit.

She stuck her hand in her mouth.

She rolled over and placed something on the nightstand.

Tooth #3! The tooth that almost broke this camel's back!

My first guilty thought was that she was somehow injured, that by allowing the dentist to work on her, I allowed her tooth to come out. (Dr. Ray is the best dentist. He is so gentle, yet safe. he never yells when Sophie bites him. In no way would he injure her.) However, I was (still am!) exhausted and was slightly shocked.

"Hannah! Sophie just lost another tooth!"

Hannah assured me that it was indeed a baby tooth and probably was due to come out anyway.

What does the Tooth Fairy owe a kid with 2 pulled teeth and 1 regularly-fallen-out tooth? It's a good thing Sophie is so special, because she's getting 1 DVD, and she won't complain!

Is it healthy that I laughed about this instead of cried? Or does that make me somewhat looney?

Spa Day!

I just went to the Spa on Friday, June 13! I took Hannah. We each had an aromatherapy massage, pedicure, manicure, and then a facial. It was a long day, but wonderful.

However, maybe I'm feeling down, because it's a rare event. I need to take the time to go more often. The facial was the best!

It was quite a costly endeavor. However, it was our "vacation"! And I thought that the environment would be better at work when I returned that Monday. However, it's still freezing! The wind has diminished, because there are fewer people using the wind tunnel behind me. The temperature is almost unbearable. I've brought in a blanket that keeps me warmer. The stress from the cold and the constant noise from the wind is totally unhealthy. It's too bad. I like the location. I just wish that someone in facilities would care.

Where is the joy?

There's so much to do.

I'm going through the motions.

I go to work. I try to do as much as I can, but there is so much to do that sometimes I cannot get anything done. How do you prioritize a hundred things? It takes me weeks to complete things that I want to get done.

I'm at home. There is so much to do. I'd like to complete the things that are still on my Moving-In list after almost 5 years. How do I get those things done when I can barely keep the floors swept and do the laundry and pay the bills?

I visit friends. I love my kids, but when I take my kids along, I have nothing to say. I am so busy looking after them, how do I portray my usual witty self?

Where is the joy? Where is my joie de vivre? Where did it go?

Whether to weather the weather

Just yesterday I had lunch with a woman who also knows my sister and her family. Jennifer said how great and happy I seemed. I told her that I would be completely happy if my sister and her family would just move back to Michigan.

I've spent the last few nights up watching the radar and checking the Lawrence Journal website for tornado news. Once the storm moves through, then I go to bed. Tonight, the Lawrence Journal says just rain now, but the front still hasn't gone through where my nephew lives. And so I wait. I know that they will be fine, but I just feel better waiting. I cannot imagine their wait for the storm to pass.

The storms here seem like puddles compared to the oceans of a storm that they get.