1. Be happy.
2. Eat a lowfat diet from January 1 - Thanksgiving Eve. (Face it...December is impossible!)
3. Exercise more regularly.
4. Spend time well.
5. More curtains! and finish other projects around the house.
6. Have some fun.
7. Be a better Mother, Daughter, Sister, Friend.
Monday, December 31, 2007
Birth-Month Traits
Oh man! There are way to many descriptors for me. I must be a complicated and complex, but not convex, individual!
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. - I come up with crazy things like the automatic anti-bacterial sprayer on the bathroom door handle, and then sometime later, I hear that someone has really designed it and made it happen! If I think it, it will happen.
Difficult to fathom. - Am I difficult to fathom? I am real, but not 6 feet tall. Or are my ideas difficult to fathom? They must not be difficult since someone actually came up with bathroom door handle thingy? However, sometimes, others don't know what in the world I'm talking about?
Thinks forward. - I'm always thinking about what could be. How do I make all that happen though?
Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. - I have been known to cut a rug outside the box under a bare bulb swinging from the middle of the ceiling.
Fine and strong clairvoyance. - Sometimes, I get the feeling that I know what someone else is thinking, like why is that Mary-person here?
Can become good doctors. - I can be calm when others are in an emergency situation. However, I cannot even touch raw meat, and so I think that surgeon is not an option for me.
Dynamic in personality. - I am dynamic when pretending to be someone else.
Secretive. - Totally. No one knows me.
Inquisitive. - I like to know why, sometimes to the chagrin and/or pain of others.
Knows how to dig secrets. - Two words...Secret Squirrel.
Always thinking. I am a thinker on the Thinker/Director/Relator/Socializer quad. Many have asked me to stop thinking some times. Some have asked me to stop thinking many times.
Less talkative but amiable. - I'm more of a writer than a talker, probably because I can think faster than I write, but talking sometimes happens faster than thinking.
Brave and generous. - I tend to be brave on behalf of others, and let others generously walk all over me.
Patient. - Is this done yet? Are we there yet? Is it time to go yet?
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Stubborn? Am not! Am not! Am not! If my heart is hard, it's because it's been broken.
If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. - There is always hope!
Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. - True. Very few people have ever seen me truly angry. It was the summer of 1984. I went to Cedar Point with my friend Jane and her co-workers from McDonald's. It was a dark and dreary moment, sandwiched between hundreds of cars in the parking lot. Bill Willis said something so mean to Jane. I retaliated. I cannot even remember what I said. It was as if I was watching me say what I said to him. I was shaking. Do not mess with my friends and family.
Loves to be alone. - True. Rarely happens, and so it's weird when it does now, but I can amuse myself. (Get your mind out of gutter!)
Thinks differently from others. - I try. Like, other bi-peds are like, so totally un-koolio.
Sharp-minded. - uh...
Motivates oneself. - I can motivate myself, but I can also throw myself into the pit of despair.
Does not appreciate praises. - I would prefer not to be praised. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel cynical, because I think that if someone praises me that he wants something from me.
High-spirited. - Spirits...maybe, but I have never inhaled!
Well-built and tough. - Good, hardy, German-stock!
Deep love and emotions. - Yes. Love is higher than a mountain; love is thicker than water. And I'll give it all to you. My love, my endless love. Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do...A total eclipse of the heart. All by myself. Don't wanna be...all by myself anymore.
Romantic. - I used to be when I had someone with whom I could be romantic. It's difficult to send those romantic vibes to cars and trucks passing me on the freeway.
Uncertain in relationships. - Sure.
Homely. - 1: suggestive or characteristic of a home - not really! 2: being something familiar with which one is at home - sure. 3: unaffectedly natural - sure. 4: plain or unattractive in appearance - NO!
Hardworking. - I never stop working. Always something to do. I follow my little tornado around. Sometimes, I feel like the vacuum is an extension of my arm.
High abilities. - I am able.
Trustworthy. - Yes.
Honest and keeps secrets. - Honest - painfully so. I can keep a TRUE secret.
Not able to control emotions. - When I am emotionally full, I share things with my Mother or my Sister or maybe someone else. I can usually control emotions unless someone has pushed me over the freaking edge, and then watch out!
Unpredictable. - I used to have every moment planned, but spontaneous and unpredictable are sometimes more fun.
NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. - I come up with crazy things like the automatic anti-bacterial sprayer on the bathroom door handle, and then sometime later, I hear that someone has really designed it and made it happen! If I think it, it will happen.
Difficult to fathom. - Am I difficult to fathom? I am real, but not 6 feet tall. Or are my ideas difficult to fathom? They must not be difficult since someone actually came up with bathroom door handle thingy? However, sometimes, others don't know what in the world I'm talking about?
Thinks forward. - I'm always thinking about what could be. How do I make all that happen though?
Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. - I have been known to cut a rug outside the box under a bare bulb swinging from the middle of the ceiling.
Fine and strong clairvoyance. - Sometimes, I get the feeling that I know what someone else is thinking, like why is that Mary-person here?
Can become good doctors. - I can be calm when others are in an emergency situation. However, I cannot even touch raw meat, and so I think that surgeon is not an option for me.
Dynamic in personality. - I am dynamic when pretending to be someone else.
Secretive. - Totally. No one knows me.
Inquisitive. - I like to know why, sometimes to the chagrin and/or pain of others.
Knows how to dig secrets. - Two words...Secret Squirrel.
Always thinking. I am a thinker on the Thinker/Director/Relator/Socializer quad. Many have asked me to stop thinking some times. Some have asked me to stop thinking many times.
Less talkative but amiable. - I'm more of a writer than a talker, probably because I can think faster than I write, but talking sometimes happens faster than thinking.
Brave and generous. - I tend to be brave on behalf of others, and let others generously walk all over me.
Patient. - Is this done yet? Are we there yet? Is it time to go yet?
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Stubborn? Am not! Am not! Am not! If my heart is hard, it's because it's been broken.
If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. - There is always hope!
Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. - True. Very few people have ever seen me truly angry. It was the summer of 1984. I went to Cedar Point with my friend Jane and her co-workers from McDonald's. It was a dark and dreary moment, sandwiched between hundreds of cars in the parking lot. Bill Willis said something so mean to Jane. I retaliated. I cannot even remember what I said. It was as if I was watching me say what I said to him. I was shaking. Do not mess with my friends and family.
Loves to be alone. - True. Rarely happens, and so it's weird when it does now, but I can amuse myself. (Get your mind out of gutter!)
Thinks differently from others. - I try. Like, other bi-peds are like, so totally un-koolio.
Sharp-minded. - uh...
Motivates oneself. - I can motivate myself, but I can also throw myself into the pit of despair.
Does not appreciate praises. - I would prefer not to be praised. It makes me uncomfortable. I feel cynical, because I think that if someone praises me that he wants something from me.
High-spirited. - Spirits...maybe, but I have never inhaled!
Well-built and tough. - Good, hardy, German-stock!
Deep love and emotions. - Yes. Love is higher than a mountain; love is thicker than water. And I'll give it all to you. My love, my endless love. Once upon a time I was falling in love, but now I'm only falling apart. There's nothing I can do...A total eclipse of the heart. All by myself. Don't wanna be...all by myself anymore.
Romantic. - I used to be when I had someone with whom I could be romantic. It's difficult to send those romantic vibes to cars and trucks passing me on the freeway.
Uncertain in relationships. - Sure.
Homely. - 1: suggestive or characteristic of a home - not really! 2: being something familiar with which one is at home - sure. 3: unaffectedly natural - sure. 4: plain or unattractive in appearance - NO!
Hardworking. - I never stop working. Always something to do. I follow my little tornado around. Sometimes, I feel like the vacuum is an extension of my arm.
High abilities. - I am able.
Trustworthy. - Yes.
Honest and keeps secrets. - Honest - painfully so. I can keep a TRUE secret.
Not able to control emotions. - When I am emotionally full, I share things with my Mother or my Sister or maybe someone else. I can usually control emotions unless someone has pushed me over the freaking edge, and then watch out!
Unpredictable. - I used to have every moment planned, but spontaneous and unpredictable are sometimes more fun.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Humpty Dumpty...back on the wall?
Sometimes, I feel like Humpty Dumpty. I get up on the wall. I fall. The king's things cannot put me back together, but I put myself back together and climb back up on the wall. Lo and behold...someone or something knocks me down again. What holds me together is that I keep getting back up. Since I've gotten back up before, I know that I'll do it again...climb back up. Even though things happen that I knew would happen and wished wouldn't happen for a long time, they happen and knock me out.
What, you ask? Well, that I am reading nursery rhymes (Humpty Dumpty is one) to my 9-year-old daughter and her Aunt Flo. Autism sometimes adds a layer of stress that makes climbing the wall a slippery slope.
What, you ask? Well, that I am reading nursery rhymes (Humpty Dumpty is one) to my 9-year-old daughter and her Aunt Flo. Autism sometimes adds a layer of stress that makes climbing the wall a slippery slope.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Ode to Shovel
It's snowing! It's blowing!
This old lady is insane-going.
She went to the garage,
wished for a mirage,
because she didn't find one shovel for removal-snowing.
Yeah, someone stole my shovels. I'm just glad that the snow looks like it will be fading soon. It's going to be a long evening of using the baby-shovel.
This old lady is insane-going.
She went to the garage,
wished for a mirage,
because she didn't find one shovel for removal-snowing.
Yeah, someone stole my shovels. I'm just glad that the snow looks like it will be fading soon. It's going to be a long evening of using the baby-shovel.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
An ostrich with a computer, finding a penny in the bathtub
I am so busy and so behind with anything and everything that I just want to crawl in bed and cover my head. Why can't I be an ostrich?
I'd like to just delete all my work emails and start from scratch. Do you think that I could get away with it? Maybe some tech guy could make my computer crash so that I could legitimately use that excuse.
I found a penny in a parking lot this morning, and I picked it up. When, oh when, will it kick into gear and make things happen? I had it in my shoe, but I just put it on my phone. C'mon phone, ring with a customer who wants to spend $85,000-$200,000!
I cannot even say, "Calgon, take me away" because that would conjure about the chore of how I need to clean the tub!
See, how random my thoughts are. I cannot focus as there are too many things racing through my mind.
I'd like to just delete all my work emails and start from scratch. Do you think that I could get away with it? Maybe some tech guy could make my computer crash so that I could legitimately use that excuse.
I found a penny in a parking lot this morning, and I picked it up. When, oh when, will it kick into gear and make things happen? I had it in my shoe, but I just put it on my phone. C'mon phone, ring with a customer who wants to spend $85,000-$200,000!
I cannot even say, "Calgon, take me away" because that would conjure about the chore of how I need to clean the tub!
See, how random my thoughts are. I cannot focus as there are too many things racing through my mind.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
Snow Days
I'm awake early waiting to hear if schools will be closed today. So far just Ida in Monroe County. This morning, I'm thinking...hoping...that the roads are okay. I need to get to work, as you know it's the busy time of year. I have 2 contracts in and 8 contracts out. Those 10 won't even get me close to my goal, but I have to keep trying. I also need to get to the post office to mail a case verification package to Friend of Court. Such grown-up things!
(Already another school closed in Monroe.)
I read/heard somewhere that adults do not call themselves grown-ups. How did I get to this grown-up place? I must not be an adult yet as I do not feel like one of them. I look at people just 10 years older than I am, and they seem so old! (Shhh! Do not tell them I said that!) Am I going to act like them before I know it?
Remember when...we wished for a snow day. I remember that jubilant feeling of nothingness. When my Mom came in and wiggled my foot, and did not say, "time to get up," but said, "snow day - no school," I remember that feeling of happiness, relief, no anxiety for things that needed to get done. It was complete dispensation from your day, your responsibilities. A day off without guilt or regret. It was a day of sleeping in, hot chocolate, reading by the picture window, playing in the snow with your snowsuit, warming up by the oven, playing barbies and cards, just doing whatever you pleased.
Oh...to have a day without responsibility for everything, for the snow to wash away the stressy-sky and to cover the guilty-ground and to make it all pretty and bright and happy without a care in the world. That's a snow day!
(Already another school closed in Monroe.)
I read/heard somewhere that adults do not call themselves grown-ups. How did I get to this grown-up place? I must not be an adult yet as I do not feel like one of them. I look at people just 10 years older than I am, and they seem so old! (Shhh! Do not tell them I said that!) Am I going to act like them before I know it?
Remember when...we wished for a snow day. I remember that jubilant feeling of nothingness. When my Mom came in and wiggled my foot, and did not say, "time to get up," but said, "snow day - no school," I remember that feeling of happiness, relief, no anxiety for things that needed to get done. It was complete dispensation from your day, your responsibilities. A day off without guilt or regret. It was a day of sleeping in, hot chocolate, reading by the picture window, playing in the snow with your snowsuit, warming up by the oven, playing barbies and cards, just doing whatever you pleased.
Oh...to have a day without responsibility for everything, for the snow to wash away the stressy-sky and to cover the guilty-ground and to make it all pretty and bright and happy without a care in the world. That's a snow day!
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Mary...Hail Mary
Prayers are there when I feel powerless, yet I need to do something.
When I hear tragic news, the first thing I say is Hail Mary...
When my Mom called home that Sunday evening in March 2000 and said, "They think they're losing him," about my Dad, I said the Hail Mary in my head while my words were a constant "Oh no."
When they called to say that Rodney had been in a farming accident and it didn't look good, I paced the sidewalk, carrying my baby, wailing the Hail Mary up to the Heaven.
When my 7th-grade-ESP-project-pal Jane was hospitalized later when we were in our 30s with they-didn't-know-what-scary-thing-at-the-time, this Scary-Mary said the Hail Mary for that Scrapper-Jane.
When I hear today that a family friend who has lived through enough heartbreak needs chemo for a cancer that is advancing rapidly, Hail Mary immediately pops into my head.
Sometimes, I feel as if my soul is constantly praying to keep others safe and healthy and to keep my heart from breaking from the physical demands that life puts on my family and friends. If I could take the pain of a sickness or disability from them, I would. Anything from my child's muteness to my sister's surgery tomorrow, everything from a chronic condition to a specific event, I would take it, but I can't, and so I pray. I pray with my heart and my soul.
My prayers are not always answered with the outcome I desire, but I know that Mary intercedes on my behalf. She hears and listens.
When I hear tragic news, the first thing I say is Hail Mary...
When my Mom called home that Sunday evening in March 2000 and said, "They think they're losing him," about my Dad, I said the Hail Mary in my head while my words were a constant "Oh no."
When they called to say that Rodney had been in a farming accident and it didn't look good, I paced the sidewalk, carrying my baby, wailing the Hail Mary up to the Heaven.
When my 7th-grade-ESP-project-pal Jane was hospitalized later when we were in our 30s with they-didn't-know-what-scary-thing-at-the-time, this Scary-Mary said the Hail Mary for that Scrapper-Jane.
When I hear today that a family friend who has lived through enough heartbreak needs chemo for a cancer that is advancing rapidly, Hail Mary immediately pops into my head.
Sometimes, I feel as if my soul is constantly praying to keep others safe and healthy and to keep my heart from breaking from the physical demands that life puts on my family and friends. If I could take the pain of a sickness or disability from them, I would. Anything from my child's muteness to my sister's surgery tomorrow, everything from a chronic condition to a specific event, I would take it, but I can't, and so I pray. I pray with my heart and my soul.
My prayers are not always answered with the outcome I desire, but I know that Mary intercedes on my behalf. She hears and listens.
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