Crazy Glue

People are fragile. They can break. It's as simple -- and as complicated -- as that.

Whether it's a quick snap or a slow burn, sometimes you think you cannot handle any more than that -- that feeling of dread...of what's coming next. Your body tenses up. You walk around all hunched. Ready to tumble. Or ready to fly? or to explode? or to just lie down in a fetal position and cry?

Then, someone comes forward...is a Man. A good man. He listens. You know that you can just say anything, even if it's irrational. You're crazy, but he accepts you anyway. He puts you back together. You're crazy; he's glue.

Orange Crush

Ways To Let Go Of An Emotional Love Affair

What is an emotional love affair? An innocent crush. An inappropriate dependence. A dysfunctional replacement. Could be one or all.

(Stuff in ALL CAPS was taken from the link above.)

1.) SCHEDULE YOUR OBSESSING: hahaha! This suggestion is such an oxymoron. Have the author of the original article and the blogger-commentator ever been obsessed? Obviously not. Obsession...you cannot think of anything else. You think/feel it. It encompasses you. How can you turn it off? Even temporarily. The real thing you have to do is put a rubber band around your wrist and snap it hard every time you think of obsession.

2.) REPLACE YOUR CRUSH WITH SOMETHING: Now, distraction is a great route to take. However, what happens when you replace one obsession with an even worse one? What should I do? I've watched every Bones episode. I can read only so much before my eyes fall out. And of course, there's always exercise, but does exercise stop me from thinking about said-obsession? Or does it just give me more time to free my mind from reality and replace with fantasies about what might be nicer?

3.) ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE LONELY: Yes, I'm lonely, and that's why I obsess. Do I really need to be reminded about how lonely I really am when I am seeking help about being so lonely that I have to have an obsession? You are an obsession, you're my obsession. Who do you want me to be to make you sleep with me? (Animotion) One is the loneliest number that they'll ever do. (Three Dog Night) I think it's the loneliest number that I'll ever be. And, I'll never be anything but that. Just one. That's acceptance.

4.) IT'S ALL IN YOUR HEAD: I like this one! ...The adrenaline rush of love, yes, it's basic. It's brain synapsis gone wild. It's your brain's own personal party. It's...My fantasy has turned to madness. All my goodness has turned to badness. (Animotion) When it's turned to badness, I guess it's time for the rubber band snap. But what's really wrong with a fantasy when life is so humdrum. So laundry and vacuum and dishes. Does the fantasy cause you to stop living? Or is it the fantasy that helps you cope with the existing?

5.) WRITE IT OUT: If you're too ashamed to admit to anyone you've lost it so hardcore for someone so utterly uninterested, try a nice, long journal session. Writing out one's emotions has been scientifically proven to help speed up the healing process... Now, this one I like. This is a time-honored way of creatively expressing one's loserness. Put it all out there...Loser it up. Maybe you'll inspire others? Maybe others will say...look at this crazy chick, because I'm not that gone with the wind.

Here's my suggestion for coping with a crush: Get a dollar bill. Walk to a vending machine. Purchase your own crush. I prefer grape, but purple is depressing, and this posting has been bleak enough. So, since orange is a proven happy color, I'll choose an Orange Crush.

Passport from Irrationality

I am absurd! How does my mind work?

Is there an actual thought process? Or is it a jumble of missing spark plugs? Should I look for the missing spark plug? If I look for it in a closed-up garage, will Humphrey Bogart rescue me? Would Humphrey/Linus rescue me? Or are happy endings just that? An ending? Where is my beginning? Waiting. Where is my life? Where is what I want? Where is what I want to do? The bottom of the list. The never-ending line through immigration. Go to the back of the line. Walk. Run. Plod.

I am an irrational. An irrational national.

I pledge allegiance to the irrational state of Mary.

Wealth and Waste

I have always told my daughters how rich we are in the ways that really count. We have one another. We have family who loves and holds us up when we need. However, after visiting the Dominican Republic and driving through the countryside, I am ashamed of my own gluttony and wastefulness.

Here I was on the way from a beautiful, all-inclusive resort to a zipline adventure, something totally extravagant, and I was passing homes with outhouses. I call them homes, but others might call them shacks. Our chicken coop is probably a little nicer than a few of these homes.

When I first saw some of the living conditions, I wanted to cry for them. How could they live like that? But the real question is...how could I live like that?

They are not shacks; they are homes. I do not presume to think that the families who live there are in anyway unhappy or unsatisfied with what they have.

I saw children in their school uniforms. I saw churches. I saw people congregating. I saw families together.

Just like here, there are some who are better off than others. Just like here, they make choices in how they live, and they are happy or sad.

I also saw gas stations, which consisted of gallon jugs filled with gas, sitting on a makeshift table. This works for them. However, how many times have I wished for a full-service station? What a luxury that would be.

I saw children chasing the bus to get the quarters that someone generously threw. I wish that I had thought to bring money for the children. What a treat for any small child anywhere! Anywhere? Maybe not here. How many times have I seen people walk by a coin on the sidewalk? Me...I pick it up if I see it. But, there are many who wouldn't bother. How many times have I wasted a quarter on some silly, stupid, extravagant thing though? Isn't that the same thing? Wasting something and just throwing it away?

I saw simplicity there. I surround myself with things here. To somehow complete me? To give me comfort? To make life easier? These things are silly and stupid. I am ashamed of myself.

I feel lost. I thought I knew myself. I thought I was a good person.

I am a wasteful, silly, spoiled girl.

La-Z-Boy sucks!

I sent this to La-Z-Boy today. They suck...

I bought a Demi Sofa on 12/12/08, and it was delivered on 02/06/09. It is already broken! My 10-year-old daughter sat on it, and I heard a huge crack and something is sticking out the bottom of the sofa. I find it absolutely reprehensible that your furniture does not last even a month! I am appalled. No wonder your stores are closing if this is the the type of quality you deliver. Never again will I buy from your company, and I will definitely share this information with EVERYONE that I know. The sales rep assured me that this sofa would be sturdy; that was a lie. And whomever I talked to at the Customer Service Center was rude. I don't care how much the service fee is, even it's just a $1 fee, which I find doubtful. I cannot believe that I paid $800+ for this couch and now I have to pay anything again for it. Back to Ikea for me.

Darn...I'm a horse

I occasionally read horoscope stuff for fun. I think that most horoscopes can apply to anyone at most anytime. However, what does the Chinese horoscope have against me this year?

Summary of the Yahoo link:
http://shine.yahoo.com/astrology/chinese/horse/yearly-overview/

The year - 4 so-so months and 8 bad months

Career - work even harder for no results???

Relationships - Be other-centered. The one time I am actually thinking about doing something for myself, and this stupid article tells me I am selfish. And "The single Horse may have trouble this year finding a meaningful, long lasting relationship." This year? Really? As opposed to every other year of my life?

Health - Bad due to stress. Well, at least that's the same as always. More sleep needed? Well, let's try to work that in. Sure.

Wealth - I'll be able to save some money this year, if I don't spend any. Great! Great advice. Very wise.

In summary, since I'll have no one to do anything with outside of work and all I'll be doing at home is sleeping, I'll have an extra dime next year.

Jeez, what does the Ox have against the Horse?

Crazy like a circus?

You were in my dream.

I started out at a circus. I lost something and was searching for it. People were helping me look. I found it, and then I walked a long way. The circus and the walk were difficult, but I laughed a lot too. I ended up in with a bunch of people in this room. Everyone was talking and having a great time. I think it must have been a party. I can't remember everyone who was there, but you were there and so was your Dad. Questions were asked and answered. I don't remember what your Dad said, but I remember the way he said it. He was happy and healthy and sounded and looked so young and confident.

I'm sure that I dreamed this, because we connected this week and talked about our Dads and their birthdays.

Maybe it's just me that needed to dream this message, but I thought it couldn't hurt to share it with you. Maybe your Dad was trying to tell you something through my dream? Or maybe I just wanted to reach out and make sure you are okay?

Even though life is sometimes crazy and difficult, it is a wonderful thing. Your Dad was there in my dream. I hope you know that I am here for you.