The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
~ Einstein
If there's one thing that the Siena Heights Sisters taught me, it is to question. Sr. Pat Hogan, in Philosophy of Person, must have asked, "Why?" once a minute in every class. Sr. Mary Louise Hall taught me to prove points that I didn't even believe. Sr. Pat Schnapp raised her left fist with an "Aha!" when we took an idea a step farther.
When someone does something to you or against you, it's not necessarily what it seems. Think about the why. Curiosity will take you farther than yourself. The why is usually all about someone else and his own circumstances.
Just like when you get dressed up for a party or for church. No one else is really looking at you (unless of course, you wear the same gray pants every day!); they are all wondering how they look to you. Curiosity brings a better understanding of self while trying to understand others. (Maybe her husband told her that gray pants brings out the gray in her eyes? Maybe her Father wore gray pants to work every day, and it brings her comfort or courage to be like him.) More than likely, gray-pants-girl is not trying to be weird or offensive or anything else to you. She doesn't necessarily want the whole world to join the gray-pants-club, but she would be happy for you if you chose to wear gray pants too. And if she did say how great you'd look in gray pants, maybe just ask yourself why?
Why is a bully a bully? If you ask why, it takes the personal edge off. More than likely, the bully actually has nothing against you. The bully either gets bossed around elsewhere or yelled at by others or some other treatment where they learned their own bullying techniques. They're seeking to get something of themselves back. I feel sorry for them. I don't have to put up with them, but I feel sorry for them. Their bullying me is not about me; it's about them.
Asking "Why?" will bring understanding or not. Perhaps, it will end with another "Why?" which is okay too. Not knowing the answer to every "Why?" is okay. It's the asking that mostly counts. Besides, no answer is an answer. After all, who has all the answers to her own reality?
3 comments:
Great post! I think there is a lesson to be learned about everything in life, especially when we go through trials. Maybe when we take a step back and look for the lesson, it doesn't really matter what anyone else says or does...just what we do as a result. Instead of bitterness and "woe is me", we have the choice to rise above the crap and examine ourselves and finally to find peace. Thanks - I needed that!
This is especially helpful for those discussions with you-know-who and taxes (the Karma thing?). Empathy and understanding are two skills that have dwindled over the past few generations. It's especially to use this method of reasoning on the road. Like when someone gets up on my tail and forces me to move over. Instead of thinking, "Jerk!" I should wonder, "Why is he in such a hurry? Maybe there's an emergency."
Thanks for that perspective.
It's especially HELPFUL. Jeez... must stop multi-tasking! LOL
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