Being Blessed by Autism

Yes, I am blessed. Autism has blessed my family. Would I be extremely happy if my daughter could speak and eat healthier and have fewer sensory issues? Of course. However, I am very blessed to have her in my life. Her innocence, her sweetness! Everyone who really knows her loves her. She is special in many ways.

One way...Sophie's Aide...In the Spring of her 1st grade year, the woman who spent all school day with Sophie was injured by a drunken semi-truck driver. This woman's legs were cut off above the knee. When her Aide returned to the school to work the following fall, she was in a wheel chair. Sophie walked up to her, kicked her leg out at the open area where her Aide's legs should have been, and then proceeded to crawl up on her Aide's lap. What was Sophie saying? Yeah, I notice that you are different now, but I still like you anyway.

Another way...My older typical daughter spent the night at a friend's house. When I picked her up the following morning, she said, "They are like the perfect family. It was creepy!" What did she mean? Dad is the sole financial provider. Mom is a Stay-at-home-Mom. One daughter. One brother. One purebred dog. They ate dinner while sitting at the table! Spotless house. Uh...yeah, nice, but not like us. We are Deadbeat Dad, Single Working Mom, one typical daughter, one special needs daughter, one mutt. That table in the dining room is for sitting and eating a meal together? Who knew? And most specifically...the house is a mess. I asked my older daughter if she knew that most houses did not have bits of ricecakes and popcorn scattered about the floor and table and counter, etc.? What's more important perfection through control or a loving, caring, accepting attitude? A child with special needs answers that question.

And another...adversity through a child brings family together. I know without a doubt that my Mother (and Father, if he were still alive), my Siblings and their children, and even extended family members hope and dream and do whatever they can for my girl! That's a good feeling!

A child is not a burden. A child is a gift. A special child is a special gift.

We have been very fortunate.

Autism and Vaccines

I don't usually blog too much about autism. I live it every day. So, when I write, I write to escape. However, a friend of mine asked me about vaccines and autism. Here is my reply...

Never get "caught up" on vaccines. Do not even follow the schedule. I tell my friends to have one shot at a time done on their babies.

Both my girls had multiple shots done at once. I trusted the doctor and the medical industry. Bad idea. In my gut, it felt wrong. I should have known it was stupid.

Why, oh why, would anyone choose to give a kid all of those diseases at once? That's what's happening! Can a body handle a little bit of polio, diphtheria, measles, and others all at once? Hell no! It's common sense. Take it slow. One shot at a time. Let the kid recover. If the baby does have a reaction, how would the doctors know from which shot? We take our time and introduce one new food at a time, but we inject them with terrible diseases all at once? Common sense says no. Do not let the doctors shame you into anything.

The medical community means well, but they are brainwashed into thinking whatever is commonly taught. Do I think that the doctor who administered the 4 vaccines at once into Sophie wanted to harm her? No. I think that the doctor was trying to keep her safe, but the doctor was misinformed and passed that misinformation along to me.

Do I think that the medical industry needs to change their tune about vaccines? Yes! I use the word industry, because it's the businesspeople running the big pharmacy companies who are lobbying and persuading and buying the idiots who announce that vaccines are safe for all in the way that they are recommending.

The medical community needs to promote one shot at a time. Will it be inconvenient for parents to take their kids to the doctors more often? Yes. Will doctors be busier than they already are? Yes. Will insurance companies be happy? No. Is the inconvenience to parents and doctors worth it? YES!

I live it. I live everyday wanting and wishing and hoping and having faith and expecting miracles that my baby girl will talk to me, that she'll be able to care for herself one day, that she'll be able to let the world know what she's thinking and feeling. And now my heart is breaking with each tear I cry for her, for me, for anyone who knows and loves a child with autism.

Foolish Self-Deprecator?

I have great faith in fools - self-confidence, my friends call it.
~ Edgar Allan Poe

Someone who can make jokes about herself does not have self-esteem issues, but is secure enough to laugh. Those who are not secure with themselves are those that comment on someone else's self-deprecating humor and ask why.

My ex-dysfunction did not like it when I laughed at myself. Everything was so serious. Drama, drama, drama. I'm so glad to be rid of that serious fool.

It's better to laugh than to cry. Why whine and complain about every little thing? I'd rather have a bit and be a bit entertaining. Laughter is contagious. Laughter is the best medicine.

So, why not laugh at yourself?

Time...

Time, why you punish me?
Like a wave bashing into the shore
You wash away my dreams.
~ Hootie & The Blowfish

So much time has gone by. I haven't done the things that I want to do. I cannot even find the time to go to the post office with pictures to mail to my sister (with her Christmas card). That's how long I've been trying to do this one thing.

It's already the end of March! Where does time go?

Curiosity

The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.
~ Einstein

If there's one thing that the Siena Heights Sisters taught me, it is to question. Sr. Pat Hogan, in Philosophy of Person, must have asked, "Why?" once a minute in every class. Sr. Mary Louise Hall taught me to prove points that I didn't even believe. Sr. Pat Schnapp raised her left fist with an "Aha!" when we took an idea a step farther.

When someone does something to you or against you, it's not necessarily what it seems. Think about the why. Curiosity will take you farther than yourself. The why is usually all about someone else and his own circumstances.

Just like when you get dressed up for a party or for church. No one else is really looking at you (unless of course, you wear the same gray pants every day!); they are all wondering how they look to you. Curiosity brings a better understanding of self while trying to understand others. (Maybe her husband told her that gray pants brings out the gray in her eyes? Maybe her Father wore gray pants to work every day, and it brings her comfort or courage to be like him.) More than likely, gray-pants-girl is not trying to be weird or offensive or anything else to you. She doesn't necessarily want the whole world to join the gray-pants-club, but she would be happy for you if you chose to wear gray pants too. And if she did say how great you'd look in gray pants, maybe just ask yourself why?

Why is a bully a bully? If you ask why, it takes the personal edge off. More than likely, the bully actually has nothing against you. The bully either gets bossed around elsewhere or yelled at by others or some other treatment where they learned their own bullying techniques. They're seeking to get something of themselves back. I feel sorry for them. I don't have to put up with them, but I feel sorry for them. Their bullying me is not about me; it's about them.

Asking "Why?" will bring understanding or not. Perhaps, it will end with another "Why?" which is okay too. Not knowing the answer to every "Why?" is okay. It's the asking that mostly counts. Besides, no answer is an answer. After all, who has all the answers to her own reality?

Good Things

Being content with me

The sound of my Sophie laughing

A kiss on the cheek good night from my 13-year-old Daughter

Talking with my Mother, Sister, or Brothers

Helping a friend

Laughing

Reese's Peanut Butter Easter Egg

Making goal at work

Being twitterpated (I'm not, but that would be good.)

The smell of Spring

Remembering those we love who are now Angels

What about you...can you name a few?

Easter

The joyful news that He is risen does not change the contemporary world. Still before us lie work, discipline, sacrifice. But the fact of Easter gives us the spiritual power to do the work, accept the discipline, and make the sacrifice. ~Henry Knox Sherrill

What we do in this world does make a difference. It's not only the destination, but also what we do on the journey that gets us to our desire. If we believe in our hearts, then what we do should shine through. We are not God's puppets, but his children with the free will to do as we think is right and choose is good. We will make mistakes, but we learn from those mistakes and choose better next time. Jesus died so that we may live on. He showed the way. He loved us and sacrificed for us so that we would do so for others. He died and rose to live in Heaven with our Father. All I know is that Heaven is a wonderful, beautiful place where we will be with those we love without the trappings of this world. Thank God for Jesus!