No relationship is better!

I just had a conversation with a friend...on how when you are in a bad relationship, it's hard to see it for yourself.

My friend is in a good relationship. She's happily married. Of course, you all know that I am not in a relationship, at least not a real one with a real man. There's always Joe...he's so dependable...waiting for me in his tank.

Anyway, I have several friends who are in BAD relationships right now. It's hard to hear about them; it's hard to listen to the crying all the time. I think back to when I would call my Mother every night crying, wondering what in the world was going on with my husband and why was he doing the things he was doing. That was 10 years ago...a lifetime ago! I didn't even really know what he was doing at the time. I just knew that he continually hurt my feelings. Why would he do that?

I had another bad relationship. He wants to restart it. There's no way. I'm out of it now and can see that it did neither of us any good the way that it was. There was no abuse or anything like that. It was just dysfunctional.

The better question that I can ask myself now is...why did I put up with it? With the crap from either one?

How can I get my friends to see this, to realize that they do NOT have to put up with it.

One friend is married. She is constantly belittled by her controlling, abusive husband. He's slowly, but surely killing her spirit.

One friend...I just read about in the newspaper! No names were mentioned, but I'm sure that it's her. Domestic assault...there is no excuse. Get out. Get out of that shit now! Why would you want to be with someone like that when you could be content with yourself? And she made excuses for him. Why? Where there is so much smoke, there is fire.

Hindsight is clear. Wake up! Pretend to be out of the relationship. Wake up and look at what
you're allowing to happen to yourself. Would you want your child, your sibling, your niece, your friend in a relationship like yours? NO!

Your body is a temple. Your mind...your soul...take care.

Relationships are taking care of one another. If he is not taking care with you, he is NOT worth it. He needs to care for every part of you. He needs to treasure you. We are all Princesses. If he is not Prince material, kick his butt to the curb.

I met a woman a couple of weeks ago at an event. Her husband is cheating on her. They have two young children. (Sound familiar?) He is still living at home, and she is still cooking for him and doing his laundry. NO! NO! NO! No way! Out, damn spot! OUT! He is not taking care of her; he is disrespecting her. She owes him nothing. This is not mutual. Put (some of) his clothes in a garbage bag and put it on the stoop! He is a parasite. You may have loved him once, but he is no longer that good person. He is Kafka's cockroach. He changed.

This life is about building up one another. If he is tearing you down, you do NOT need him.

No one looks forward to a relationship ending. We grow up dreaming about a marriage that lasts forever. Well, it takes two, baby! It takes two!

It takes two, and it takes two who lovingly, adoringly work at it.

Last week, I went to a graduation party. (Weddings have the same effect on me.) Might as well call them Noah's Arks. Everyone is paired off...and then there's Maude! No, that's not right. hehe. And then there's me...ALONE. It's not easy. It sometimes makes me sad. But I have other relationships. I have family who would never desert me. I have friends who think I am wonderful. Until I meet a man who can meet those requirements, yes, requirements, I don't need to bother with jerks. I am a wonderful woman. I deserve a wonderful man.

These wonderful women that I mentioned all deserve better.