Darren made a huge mistake by not inviting Hannah to his wedding and not telling her about it until a week later. When he did tell her, he described it as this beautiful, intimate, family affair, which is lovely for all who were involved. When he was speaking, I could see her heart breaking. He could not have hurt her more if he had pushed her down and stomped on her. After 10 years of first abandonment and then disinterest, Hannah has had enough of him, at least for now. She's in some formative years, and she's very smart. I cannot cover for his deficiencies in the dad department anymore, because she sees through the excuses that I create for her benefit. She sent Darren an email asking him not to contact her for a while.
I've been nothing but accommodating to Darren where the girls are involved. Even after he took me to Friend of the Court to get his child support reduced and the Court Referee came back with a decision to raise it, I didn't have it raised because I did not want to make it harder for him to visit, for the sake of the girls, for Hannah really. If Darren had told Hannah about his plans to marry, I would have made arrangements to get Hannah to the wedding. Darren offered to take Hannah to meet Kim, but Hannah is sensitive to her sister and feels that meeting her means to meet Sophie too, which would mean a trip here, which would have been absolutely fine with me.
Hannah is a smart and sensitive young lady. Darren's exclusion of her from such an important event is his life really hurt her.
4 comments:
Gosh, that had to have been a tough weekend for all of you. I still can not get over how insensitive that was. What did he think was going to happen? That Hannah would jump up and down and give him a big hug, congratulating her?
You've got a smart, warm-hearted, very responsible young lady there with a good head on her shoulders. She's very lucky to have you (and very lucky that he didn't raise her).
I sadly applaud her decision to distance herself from him for a while.
HIS loss...
Had to come out of hiding for a sec for this one...
What a total jerk. How can someone have this awesome kid and not appreciate it? Incredible. Coming from life experience having a parent who is clueless, I can tell you that it comes down to the fact that some people are wired for it and some are not. I really believe that.
That girl is amazing an wise beyond her years. I think she's doing the right thing to distance herself. With parents like that, the kid has to take control and make a conscious decision to master the situation. It's too hard if you leave it up to the jerks and they just crap all over you.
If Hannah ever wants to talk to a kid who's been through it (and is still learning how to cope) ...please give her my number. She's a good girl. And she's so fortunate to have you. And she is such a good sister. Gosh...I want to hug her.
XO
I am so sorry that Hannah had to experience that. She is taking the right steps to figure out what kind of relationship she wants with her Dad. And, smart enough to recognize that it probably isn't the one she envisioned.
You (and I mean you) have raised one very smart young lady and I know that she is going to come out stonger from this experience no matter how much she may be hurting right now.
I'm proud of Hannah and not really surprised by Darren's stupidity. His loss for sure but sadly also Hannah's. I can't imagine what it must be like to yearn for a daddy, knowing the one you have will fall short andyet always hopeful 'this time" will be what you dream of. This hurt may squash her hope of ever having that relationship-she seems so young to have to give up hope but if it prevents future heartbreak then better now than later.
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