Yearning...Bolt or Sun?

Yearning? What makes you yearn for someone? Yearning implies tenderness. But is it physical? Does it hit you like lightning? Or is it the emotional sun rising like a beacon?

That pang, that ache, that want...when the person walks away. That desire to lean toward him as he gets farther away and pull him back toward you. To safety, to make you safe. This pull...this electricity. How do you know if the current runs both ways? Does it strike just one and not the other? What if this strike sets you back or spins you around? Are these feelings real? Are you feeling the lightning just to feel the lightning? Real feelings? Do they come about like the sun rising? Slow, colorful, warm, bright, shiny, breathtaking...

Is yearning a response to a general loneliness? Is it just this specific person? Or could it be any person? I don't remember ever feeling this particular kind of yearning before...ever before. This need to be close, just near him.

When I hear him, I can breathe easier.

When I am near him, I cannot breathe.

That doesn't make sense, but it feels good, right, true.

Is yearning an addiction? I can't seem to get enough. Every bit, I enjoy though. Can you truly be happy with what is offered and not want more? Want what you want?

If I am lucky to get more or even luckier to get enough, will enough be enough? Or will I want something else? Do we always need to yearn? Or is there a satisfaction in having what you have? In loving what you love? In being loved back? Is the grass always greener? Or do I have patience enough to nurture my little corner of the world?

Is this a bolt of lightning that only I can see and feel? Or is it the sun...out there where everyone can see the shine and feel the warmth?

If it ever becomes real, will I bolt like lightning? Or will I be rooted in the soil of love and trust and warmth of the sun?

(I might need a bucket of friends to step in...to keep me still.)